Monday, December 31, 2007

Looks Like I Picked the Wrong Year to Quit Sniffing Glue


Rather than do the sort of self-important pseudo-analytical year in review story that all the MainStream Kidz are doing, I'll just sum it up more succinctly: 2007 sucked. 2007 blew goats. 2007 was the sort of year that even if I had bought it for 29 cents at a Dollar Store I would still not only demand my money back but probably hire a lawyer and sue their sorry asses for peddling such a damaged, damaging product. If years were presidents, 2007 would be Bush.

Or maybe Buchanan.

Granted, I have personal reasons for my implacable loathing of this particular year...but I think I'm on pretty firm ground in saying it was a miserable year by any standard. It was the sort of year when even the good news was ultimately bad news.

Good news: Democrats take Congress. Bad news: thanks to a narrow margin and a handful of Blue Dogs, they can't possibly accomplish anything. Worse news: all the people who had wildly unrealistic expectations for the Democratic Congress are now pissed off that those expectations weren't realized.

Good news: small but measurable reductions in violence in parts of Iraq. Bad news: violence was 'reduced' to 2005 levels. Worse news: people are still dying, the infrastructure is still wrecked, the only refugees coming home are the ones getting kicked out of their host countries, the political process is hopelessly broken, and there are dozens of armed factions (some of them temporarily our allies) ready to resume attacks whenever the opportunity presents itself. Also: Turkish air strikes.

Good news: the Republican field is the biggest collection of hapless losers since the last National Review cruise. Bad news: one of these guys is still going to be nominated. Worse news: there's a possibility he might win.

And so on. This grim and ugly roadkill of a year was the gift that kept on giving, if by 'gift' you mean 'painful communicable disease' and by 'giving' you mean 'constant irritation in embarrassing and difficult-to-reach parts of the body'. And of course for some diseases there is no cure but time or dementia and death, and the latter two actually look pretty good compared to 2007.

Anyway, happy new year, to the extent that 'happy' is at all possible, and good goddamn riddance.

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