THE CONSPIRACY THEORY RIGHT-WINGERS HAVE COMPLETELY OVERLOOKED

Ann Coulter and Kerry Picket of The Washington Times have been flogging the preposterous notion that there's a sinister Chicago connection to the leaking of the Herman Cain sex story -- the culprit is said to be Rahm Emanuel, or David Axelrod, or Sheila O'Grady, who was chief of staff to Richard Daley the Younger when he was mayor of Chicago, and who now heads the Illinois Restaurant Association. (This theory is preposterous because it presupposes that Democrats actually want Cain out of the race.)

But why isn't there a conspiracy theory involving sinister Democrats and the implosion of the Rick Perry campaign? After all, he was once the GOP front-runner. He matches the demographic profile of the last three Republican presidential election winners (if you count W twice): an intellectual-lightweight Texan who can't form a coherent sentence. He was a threat. And now his campaign is over:

The Rick Perry comeback hit a potentially disastrous snag Wednesday night, as the Texas governor again froze on the debate stage -- this time, while attempting to list three federal agencies he'd eliminate as president.

After saying confidently that he'd do away with the Departments of Education and Commerce, Perry struggled through a long, awkward moment that ended with an "oops."

This follows his seemingly drunken New Hampshire speech and his stammered attack on Mitt Romney in a September debate.

Folks, can't you see what's going on? Can't you see the sinister Democratic wheels turning?

Remember the Obama health care bill? Which industry did the administration cut a deal with early on? Big Pharma. And what's the most recent medical event of significance in Rick Perry's life? He had back surgery.

Do I have to draw you a map? Rahm Emanuel and David Axelrod have arranged for their Big Pharma pals to slip excessively strong painkillers into Perry's pill bottle! Is there no limit to the evil of these Chicago Democrats?

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And meanwhile, if the Capone-o-crats really are trying to destroy Herman Cain, they're not doing a very good job of it:

Debate crowd cheers Cain in face of sexual harassment claims

Onstage at his first presidential debate since sexual harassment allegations against him emerged more than a week ago, Herman Cain dismissed the accusations as a "character assassination" Wednesday -- and was enthusiastically backed up by the debate audience.

Those in the crowd at the CNBC debate booed moderator Maria Bartiromo when she asked Cain about whether he had the character needed for the nation's highest office.

"The American people deserve better than someone being tried in the court of pubic opinion, based on unfounded accusations," said Cain, whose campaign is in crisis mode after four women accused him of sexually harassing them years ago.

Cain has said repeatedly that he has never acted inappropriately toward anyone, and judging from the raucous applause incited by his answer, much of the audience at the debate believed him....

With Perry's numbers about to plummet to Huntsman levels, I think Herman Cain may actually gain support in the polls after this week. Your plot is foiled, Chicago Democrat thugs!

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(Coulter and Picket via Fox Nation and Fox Nation, naturally.)