There aren't many things I'd want to do less than sleep on the street all night so I can watch the freakin' Rose Parade.

But if I ever decide to do anything that dumb, I hope I at least won't get converted to Christianity by a mime troupe made up of homeschooled teenagers in white gloves and whiteface performing to Christian music.

Please, strike me blind on the road to Damascus. If I'm going to be converted, at least don't let me do it like a total dork.