Saturday, April 07, 2007

Mormon Romney: More Jed Clampett than Teddy Roosevelt.

While I'd prefer the Wisemen of our Media pay at least some attention to the candidates' statements on things like arresting American citizens without warrants, I can't help being amused at the latest dust-up surrounding Mormon Flip-Flop Romney.

In case you missed it, in a further effort to buttress his right-wing credentials, the former Mass. Governor claimed to be a lifelong hunter. Guess by claiming he was the manly sort of man that went about shooting defenseless animals Romney thought that would endear him to the bloodthirsty but cowardly segment of the GOP base, but I repeat myself.

Unfortunately for Mormon Romney, it turns out there are some truthyness problems with this "lifelong hunter" image. One, it turns out he's never had a hunting license to shoot small, defenseless animals in the states he's lived that require them. It also turns out Romney doesn't own a gun, which presents a bit of a conflict with his earlier claim that he in fact did own a gun. Then after initially being challenged on his manly-man, gun-totin' claims, his staff asserted Romney had only been hunting twice in his life, once during his teens, and again more recently with some big-wig GOP donors in--wait for it--Georgia. But Mormon Romney flip-flopped on his staff once again by coming out of the closet to boldly declare that he had gone hunting many more times than just two times, because manly-men campaigning for GOP president need more dead animal heads than could be acquired from two mear hunting expeditions.

When he corrected his staff's statement during a news conference Thursday in Indianapolis, Romney said: "I've always been a rodent and rabbit hunter, small varmints, if you will." He added: "I began when I was 15 or so and I have hunted those kinds of varmints since then. More than two times."

Kinda makes you feel warmy and fuzzy all over, doesn't it?

He also said, and here I guess Mitt was trying to make a funny--

"I've hunted small game numerous times, as a young man and as an adult. I'm by no means a big game hunter. I'm more Jed Clampett than Teddy Roosevelt."

There ya have it: Mormon Romney for president--because he's more Jed Clampett than Teddy Roosevelt. And he's a lifelong hunter of small defenseless animals. Maybe.

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