THIS AGAIN

Jeff Jacoby in today's Boston Globe:

In truth, ... most Americans have never thought about what it would mean if the terrorists really did win -- if militant Islamists were to succeed in their quest for political control of the United States. It isn't something that elites in academia, government, or the media generally like to talk about, for fear of being branded racist or "Islamophobic."

I'll speak just for myself, Jeff: it's true -- I haven't really thought about what it would mean if the terrorists won. But it's not out of "fear of being branded racist or 'Islamophobic.'" It is, rather, for the same reason that (in the words of the noted philosopher Wayne Campbell) I haven't really thought about what it would mean if monkeys flew out of my butt. In both cases, I haven't considered the possible consequences because these things will never happen.

What's inspiring Jacoby is The Book That Won't Die, Robert Ferrigno's novel Prayers for the Assassin, which envisions an Islamicist takeover of the U.S. I've written about this book a few times, and I'm sticking with what I said before: Islamicists might destroy this country, but they'll never conquer it. Maybe they could lay waste to America, given access to enough weapons -- but Americans who are fighting with one another now would unite and fight a repressive Islamist regime. We'd have our government's weapons, individual weapons, and vastly superior knowledge of the terrain. We would not lose.

Now, I'll confess I still haven't read this damn book, but every detail I learn about it makes it sound more and more preposterous. This is what Jacoby says Americans would meekly accept:

... university professors can lose their jobs for being "insufficiently Islamic," cellphone cameras are illegal, and men can only dream of "loud music, cold beer, and coed beaches." ...

In one scene, ... a cabbie tunes his radio to a popular call-in show called "What Should I Do, Imam?" As Ferrigno's heroine listens from the back seat, a caller asks whether there are any kinds of music that one can listen to without running afoul of Muslim law.

"Good question, my daughter," the imam answers. "The Holy Qur'an is quite clear that music is forbidden...."

...Life is especially hard for women, who may not leave their homes without written permission from a male relative, and even then risk being whipped by the Black Robes -- the Sharia-enforcing religious police -- if a lock of hair slips out from beneath their head scarves, or they neglect to keep their ankles covered....

Oh, good grief. We have 200 million privately owned firearms in this country right now, we have 5,300 operational nuclear warheads, and we'd just put up with no rock or country or hip-hop, no bare midriffs, and no brewskis? Give me a freakin' break.

But, as I've said before, this scenario seems plausible to right-wingers because the moral dictates of Islamicists are kind of appealing to the right. Jeff Jacoby is no exception. He writes:

[Ferrigno] is also quite aware of Islam's appeal. Many converts to Islam find comfort and reassurance in its moral certainty and firm standards, and Ferrigno underscores the point. "Don't tell me about the old days, girl, I lived through them," says one character, a top government official. "Drugs sold on street corners. Guns everywhere. God driven out of the schools and courthouses. Births without marriage, rich and poor, so many bastards you wouldn't believe me. A country without shame. Alcohol sold in supermarkets. Babies killed in the womb, tens of millions of them.... We are not perfect, not by any measure, but I would not go back to those days for anything."

This is Jacoby thinking, "Gee, that does sound appealing ... prayer in the schools, no abortion, no brews at the convenience store -- that's the world I've been trying to create for years in my columns!"

I don't think Jacoby, or most of the other people who think Ferrigno's scenario is plausible, are (as Atrios would put it) "bedwetters" or" whiny-ass titty babies." They don't fear this. They find it rather inspiring.

It's normal to enjoy fictional villainy while also recognizing it as evil, but most villains to whom we respond violate taboos. Ferrigno's villains impose taboos -- and that gives readers like Jacoby a vicarious thrill.