IMUS AND "THE BLACK BEATLES"
(UPDATE, January 2011: In the years since I posted this, it's become one of my most popular posts -- probably because a lot of you actually want to hear this sketch. Well, sorry -- none of the links work anymore and there's no way I'm going to update them. If you want to hear the sketch because you think it will be funny, then please die slowly, you miserable racist scumbag.)
I don't know when this aired, and I've never seen it on any list of Imus's racist bits, but it's pretty awful.
You can listen to it at the link here, and also here and here.
IMUS: Some of you may know, who listen to the Imus in the Morning program on a regular basis, there is a new group being formed called the Black Beatles.
BLACK BEATLES MEMBER (in a stereotypical black accent): That's right, Don. My name is Tyrone McCartney...
TYRONE McCARTNEY: ... bass player for the fabulous Black Beatles, and me and my friends Leroy Lennon, George Jellybean Darnell Rashad Mustafa Muhammad Harrison, and Bingo Starr, we have a new album out of our very famous #1 hits called Beat the Meatles.
IMUS: What's that?
TYRONE McCARTNEY: Beat the Meatles. We wanted y'all to get it 'cause it's got some of our famous #1 hits, like this one: (singing) "When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary come to me and speak those woids of wisdom, 'What it be.'"
And how 'bout this one? (singing) "I shoulda known better with a bitch like you." "Jo Jo was a man who only had three inches, but he knew it wouldn't last, Jo Jo never had much luck with all the bitches, but I said, 'Hey, Jo, get black. Get black, get black, get black and watch your johnson grow.'" "Lucy in the sky with a lot of jewelry on." "Strawberry-flavored malt liquor." "Here come my son, he play football. Here come my son, and I say, 'He bad.'" "I'm back on the old FDR." "Yesterday, my parole came through just yesterday." "Hey dude, lend me a dollar." "I can play center, I can play forward, I be six foot four."
And, of course, my personal favorite: (singing) "We all live in a yellow Coupe de Ville, a yellow Coupe de Ville, a yellow Coupe de Ville. And my friends is all aboard, many more of them is in the trunk, vinyl tires with wire wheels, in my yellow Coupe de Ville."
UPDATE: In comments, PlusDistance makes an excellent suggestion:
Could we just ask McCain and all the other politicians who go on his show if they'd like to do a few bars of "Jo Jo was a man who only had three inches"? We could give them the lyrics for it, so they get it right.
I mean, politicians go on Letterman and do top tens, don't they? If Imus is such a great, funny guy, they have nothing to be ashamed about, right?
Yeah -- McCain or maybe Rudy Giuliani, who has declared that he'll continue to appear on the show. I think these songs would be especially piquant coming from Rudy, no?