WE CAN INSTANTLY GET ALL OF WINGNUTTIA TO DEMAND THE REPLACEMENT OF THE TEAM NAME "REDSKINS," BUT WE'LL HAVE TO MAKE A CONSIDERABLE SACRIFICE
Yes, Charles Krauthammer agrees on the appropriateness of changing the D.C. pro football team's name from "Redskins," if reluctantly. (He endorses a name change in a column that essentially accuses anyone else who objects to the name of being a politically correct totalitarian, and his proposed alternative -- shortening the name to "Skins" -- is quite ridiculous, not to mention unoriginal.) Krauthammer may have come around, sort of, but most right-leaners agree with team owner Dan Snyder that the name should never be changed, precisely because they unswervingly oppose anything that's "politically correct."
But we could get all right-wingers to support a name change -- no, demand one -- if we went about it the right way. And when I say "the right way," I really mean "the right way:" we need to rally around a new name that will make conservatives so happy they won't care if they're being "PC."
Sounds good? Well, I warn you: you won't like what I'm about to propose.
Right-wingers will flock to the anti-"Redskins" movement if the proposed new name is ...
... the Washington Reagans.
Or the Washington Gippers.
Or, alternately, the Washington Wolverines.
Right? Wouldn't we have Fox and Limbaugh and Ted Cruz all on our side if we settled on one of those names?
9 comments:
Heheh! A few other suggestions:
Washington...
...Freepers?
...Real Americans?
...Confederates?
...Rebels?
Hmm..yes.and how about
The Washington...
...Filibusters
...Deadlocks
...Logrollers
...Porkbarrles
...Earmarks
...Whips
...Fundraisers
Oh, you get the idea. Keep it, well uh, native to the home territory.
Yours Crankily,
The New York Crank
The Continentals
They'd love having it be The Washington Bullets - but that horse has already left the stable.
But along that theme:
The Glocks.
Or, even more Real Murkin: the Remingtons - or, Colts.
Ooops! Taken.
They could do what St. Johns did, and changed from The Red Men, to The Red Storm.
Nah - too Marxy.
I know - The Washington Bombers.
My vote is for the Washington White-dogs.
My action, like Israel, is boycott, divest and sanction.
No fear.
I happen to have the perfect compromise solution:
Dan Snyder's Washington Redyns
I'm half convinced that's how the team was named in the first place ...
How about:
The Washington Maulers
I think of this format as the patented child's whine "Fine! You can make me do it but I'll make you miserable!" Its always the last step before capitulation.
Make the stadium part of the Swiss consulate and call the team the Davos Globalists. The mascot will be Tom Friedman. Foam mustaches instead of fingers.
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