Friday, May 10, 2013


My favorite story of the week:
The lead singer of a successful Christian heavy-metal band told at least two people at a gym recently that he wanted to have his wife killed, a prosecutor said in court Thursday.

Timothy Lambesis, 32, of the band As I Lay Dying, met with a person he believed was a hit man -- but was actually an undercover detective -- and handed him an envelope containing $1,000 cash, his wife's address and the gate security codes. He told the agent he wanted his wife "gone," said Deputy District Attorney Claudia Grasso....
Well, he told his wife while they were breaking up that he no longer believed in God, so I'm sure the Jesus fans will tell us that this guy wasn't one of theirs anymore, and God's failure to give him strength was his own damn fault, or the fault of Satan becaue he and his band hung out with that Satanist Ozzy Osbourne years ago.
Me, I'm blame Jerry Falwell, or online learning, or both. According to Lambesis's Wikipedia page, he
majored in Religious Studies at Liberty University, a private Christian college that offers classes online.
Liberty University was founded by Falwell in 1971.

Or maybe we should blame the dietary supplements?
The wife ... filed for divorce in September, citing "irreconcilable differences" and alleging that her husband had become obsessed with bodybuilding and going to the gym.
Yes -- when Lambesis wasn't alternately professing and losing his faith in a heavily metallic way, he was either at the gym or working on a gym-related side project: Austrian Death Machine, an Arnold Schwarzenegger-themed metal band.

God (or Satan, or testosterone) works in mysterious ways.


Victor said...


Is there any truth to the rumor that he's going to change the name of his group to, "Oh, If Only She Lay Dead?"

And, of course, the Christianista's will say that once he renounced Jesus, he became part of us evil secular humanists, because, obviously, we were the reason he renounced Jesus.

aimai said...

I came at this story through a blog post that focused on the twitter feed of his fans (many of them female) who rallied to his defense not by saying he hadn't done it but that their Christian idol was fully entitled to kill a bitch and they would like to do so too. It was mind boggling.

aimai said...

Sorry, not a blog post of mine, someone else's. I think it might have been at LGM.

Ten Bears said...

G'ma used to tell never stoop to their level, give the white dogs enough rope to hang themselves', to fail... spectacularly. And though I do feel a certain sense of satisfaction everytime one of these piles of shit is caught plotting to kill their wives while snorting methamphetamine with male hookers at a gym in Utah... it is very little satisfaction. The pervasiveness of the christian perversion is far to count more.

Animals, maggots Little Eichmenn, bow down to gods.

Human Beings, do not.

No fear.