Tuesday, May 21, 2013

A GRAND UNIFIED THEORY OF GOVERNMENT-CREATED TORNADOES AND THE IRS SCANDAL

Via Steve Benen, I see that Alex Jones suspects the Oklahoma tornado may have been created by the government:
On the May 21 edition of The Alex Jones Show, ... Jones said that "of course there's weather weapon stuff going on -- we had floods in Texas like fifteen years ago, killed thirty-something people in one night. Turned out it was the Air Force."

... Jones ... explained that "natural tornadoes" do exist and that he's not sure if a government "weather weapon" was involved in the Oklahoma disaster, Jones warned nonetheless that the government "can create and steer groups of tornadoes."
Jones didn't specifically mention HAARP, which surprises me, because it's been theorized in Jones World that HAARP created Hurricane Sandy. (The caller to whom Jones was responding did mention HAARP, however.)

What is HAARP? you ask. A 2011 Alaska Dispatch story explains:
A military-funded project called the High-frequency Active Auroral Research Program (HAARP), located on remote tundra in Alaska, jumps off the horizon just past mile marker 11 on the Glenn Highway. The program's main facility sits behind a barbed wire fence that stretches as far as the eye can see. What grabs the imagination of most, though, are the couple hundred oversized antennas, described by legions of journalists and conspiracy theorists.

... the HAARP website notes that federal scientists are working to unlock the mysteries to other natural phenomena that have captivated humans for millennia. They're studying lightning, aurora borealis and the like. They've even learned how to induce both of those on a limited scale, according to a statement included on a Navy defense budget. HAARP also exists, the project's website notes, to learn more about shortwave radio communications and its application in global positioning systems, among other things....

Plenty of other theories have been explored about what exactly Uncle Sam is up to way out in the middle of nowhere, Alaska....
Among the HAARP conspiracy theories: weather modification.
There's a storied tradition of blaming devastating hurricanes on HAARP. That trend hit a fever pitch in 2005: first it was Katrina, then Rita, then Wilma....

"This is absolute hogwash," Stanford professor Umran Inan told Popular Science. "There's absolutely nothing we can do to disturb the earth's [weather] systems. Even though the power HAARP radiates is very large, it's miniscule compared with the power of a lightning flash -- and there are 50 to 100 lightning flashes every second. HAARP's intensity is very small."
But it's not just weather. There's also ... mind control:
Of all the conspiracies floating around about HAARP, this is perhaps the most entertaining, and scientifically farfetched.

The government is using the shortwave radio communication generated in Gakona, so the story goes, to control the minds of unsuspecting Americans.

What conspiracy theorists believe the Feds are trying to control is hazy. A good place to try and get a grip on this one is at the conspiracy website HAARP.net....
Yeah, just try reading that HAARP.net page:
... ELF waves from HAARP when targeted on areas can weather-engineer and create mood changes affecting millions. The intended wattage is 1,700 billion watts of power. A former govt. insider deduced they want to flip the world upside down. 64 elements in the ground modulate, with variation, the geomagnetic waves naturally coming from the ground.

The 'earth's natural brain rhythm' above is balanced with these. These are the same minerals as the red blood corpuscles. There is a relation between the blood and geomagnetic waves. An imbalance between Schumann and geomagnetic waves disrupts biorhythms. These natural geomagnetic waves are being replaced by artificially created very low frequency (VLF) ground waves coming from GWEN Towers....
Yeah ... right. Of course.

But maybe this can explain one aspect of the IRS scandal that remains a mystery. Simon Maloy of Media Matters had dubbed it the Legend of the Bureaucrat Whisperer. According to this theory, President Obama didn't have to tell any IRS agents to target his opponents. He merely had to say bad things about his opponents and the IRS agents then intuited that they should perform evil deeds aimed at those opponents. As a Wall Street Journal op-ed put it:
The IRS bureaucrats took the hint. No express order from senior administration officials would have been necessary. Like other federal enforcement agencies, the IRS has always been well-attuned to even subtle guidance from the White House, Congress and the political establishment.
"Well-attuned"! Maybe the IRS wasn't merely "well-attuned" -- maybe it was brainwashed by disruptions of natural cerebral rhythms emanating from HAARP on Obama's orders!

I think Jones's pal Rand Paul ought to hold Senate hearings to get to the bottom of this. Don't you?

7 comments:

trnc said...

I really like how they think that the combined efforts of 7 billion people can't possibly affect the earth's climate, but the federal gov't can create AND CONTROL gigantic whether events that start in the middle of the freakin' Atlantic ocean.

Ten Bears said...

Flouride. AKA Kool-Aid. The Ambien, Prozac, Viagra, we really don't know what's in what we eat and drink and crotch-shots on Fox Kool-Aid.

The dots are there but they just won't connect.

No fear.

Philo Vaihinger said...

I believe you've just proved that the Journal is as crazy as Alex Jones.

Who wudda thunk it?

No doubt Fox is spreading Jones' hallucinations far and wide to their tens of millions of loyal blockheads.

Victor said...

Conservatives in this country, have "weaponized insanity."

And Alex Jones, like Glenn Beck, is beyond "weapons-grade, crazy," and "weapon's-grade, stupid!"

Have we no attics, have we no basements, where we can lock these loons into, instead of giving them access to mass mediums?

Aunt Snow said...

Obama couldn't have brainwashed the IRS agents, he was too busy killing Andrew Breitbart with his heart-stopping cosmic mental death-rays.

Philo Vaihinger said...

Good point, Auntie. Never thought of that.

Roger said...

I thought HAARP was a swingers' group for old people.