EVEN THE IDEALIZED BUSH IS AN ARROGANT JERK WHO THINKS WE'RE STUPID

Pat Boone writes a regular column for WorldNetDaily, but this week he turns over the writing to the anonymous wingnut author of an e-mail that's making the rounds. The e-mail in the voice of the president of the United States; Boone calls it "President Bush's Resignation Speech."

What's remarkable about this fictionalized Bush is that -- as imagined by someone who's clearly an admirer -- he's a big a jerk as he is in real life. He can't imagine that there could possibly be a grain of truth in anything a critic says. Not only is he right about everything, he doesn't in any way respect your right to disagree.

Here's some of the "resignation letter":

Normally, I start these things out by saying, "My fellow Americans."

Not doing it this time. If the polls are any indication, I don't know who more than half of you are anymore.

...The reason I'm quitting is simple: I'm fed up with you people.

I'm fed up because you have no understanding of what's really going on in the world -- or of what's going on in this once-great nation of ours.

... Polls show that the majority of you think the economy is in the tank. And that's despite record numbers of homeowners, including record numbers of minority homeowners. And while we're mentioning minorities, I'll point out that minority business ownership is at an all-time high. Our unemployment rate is as low as it ever was during the Clinton administration. I've mentioned all those things before, but it doesn't seem to have sunk in.

...We face real threats in the world....

You should be grateful they haven't gotten any more of us here in the United States since Sept. 11. But you're not....

You're incapable of seeing things through the long lens of history, the way our enemies do. You think that wars should last a few months, a few years, tops.

Making matters worse, you actively support those who help the enemy. Every time you buy the New York Times, every time you send a donation to a cut-and-run Democrat's political campaign, well, dang it, you might just as well FedEx a grenade launcher to a jihadist. It amounts to the same thing.

...I could say more about your expectations that the government will always be there to bail you out, even if you're too stupid to leave a city that's below sea level and has a hurricane approaching....

So I quit....

God bless what's left of America. Some of you know what I mean. The rest of you, kiss off.

Well, there you go: Americans are too stupid to know whether their financial situation is good or bad. Jihadists have a more mature attitude toward war than Americans. Democrats and The New York Times are exact moral equivalents of terrorists. And anyone who suffered as a result of Katrina deserved it.

This is the president Pat Boone and other right-wingers want. They want a divider, not a uniter.

In fact, those of us who have the audacity not to be right-wing aren't even part of America. As soon as we disagree with right-wingers, we cease to be Americans.