Tuesday, October 02, 2012

DAVID BROOKS WRITES MITT ROMNEY FAN FICTION

A lot of people have said recently that Mitt Romney has lost David Brooks; they point to the mocking Romney biography Brooks wrote in August, and to Brooks's seemingly genuine outrage at Romney's "47%" comments.

But I guarantee you that David Brooks will vote for Mitt Romney. Yes, he's dissatisfied with the Mitt Romney who actually exists, but he's compensating for that by inventing the Mitt Romney he'd prefer (and wrirting today's column in that fantasy-Romney's voice):
Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to use the opening minutes of this debate a little differently. I'd like to say that I wish everybody could have known my father, George Romney. He was a great public servant and I've always tried to live up to his example. The problem is that you get caught up in the competitiveness of a campaign and all the consultants want to make you something you're not.

I've allowed that to happen to me. I'm a nonideological guy running in an ideological age, and I've been pretending to be more of an ideologue than I really am. I'm a sophisticated guy running in a populist moment. I've ended up dumbing myself down.

It hasn't even worked. I'm behind. So I've decided to run the last month of this campaign as myself.
Brooks toggles between "I, Mitt Romney, allowed myself to become this person" and "evil people held me down and forced me to be this person" -- either of which, as far as I'm concerned, would be a disqualification for the presidency, a sign that you have no spine. But for Brooks, it's a sign that there's a real Romney lurking inside that fake Romney who was, alas, created for the tea party era -- never mind the fact that Mitt Romney started remaking himself long before the end of his gubernatorial term.

And the real Romney not only has a solid centrist core, he has mad political skillz:
[One] reason there's been no budget compromise is that Republicans have been too rigid, refusing to put revenue on the table. I've been part of the problem. But, globally, the nations that successfully trim debt have raised $1 in new revenue for every $3 in spending cuts. I will bring Republicans around to that position.
"I will bring Republicans around to that position"? Seriously? David, you you spend the entire column depicting a Romney who's so round-heeled he'll do whatever a wingnut asks him to do, then you say he's going to bring the congressional crazies around, rather than the opposite?

But Brooks is going to vote for this fantasy Romney. Brooks doesn't think this dream-Romney is the one who's running, but he's sure dream-Romney is in there somewhere.