CAN'T ANYBODY HERE PLAY THIS GAME?

It should have been fairly easy for Democrats to mount a serious challenge to Staten Island GOP congressman Michael Grimm. He has, um, a few blemishes on his record:

The New York Republican enlisted a well-connected Israeli citizen, Ofer Biton, during his 2010 campaign. Mr. Biton allegedly helped candidate Grimm solicit large sums from donors, including several pornography distributors, frequently breaking campaign contribution limits in the process, all in the hope that, once in office, Rep. Grimm would help him procure a green card.

And:

... the New York Times and Post reported that the ex-business partner of New York Republican Rep. Michael Grimm has close ties to the imprisoned don of the Gambino crime family, according to federal prosecutors. The old partner, whom Grimm started a restaurant with in 2006 after ending his colorful career as an undercover FBI agent, reportedly visits Anthony "Fat Tony" Morelli in prison and calls the crime boss his "uncle."

And:

Rep. Michael Grimm’s former fund-raiser who is currently fighting immigration fraud charges was a suspect in a major ecstasy drug investigation, federal officials announced last week

But the guy the Democratic Party found to run against Grimm is trailing in the polls. And, well, as The New York Times reports today, that's not really surprising under the circumstances:

Mark Murphy, the Democratic challenger ..., is a congressman's son, a fourth-generation Staten Islander, and handsome enough to have enjoyed a minor career in television....

[But he] has held few news conferences, is rarely spotted at the ferry terminal, and is still trying to introduce himself to the 13th District....

"People are asking me, 'Who is the Democrat running in the congressional race?'" said Vincent J. Gentile, a Democratic city councilman from Bay Ridge who supports Mr. Murphy. "That's probably the question I get asked the most."

... Videos posted to YouTube -- and linked from a Grimm campaign site -- include snippets from his Hollywood days. In one, labeled "Mark Murphy Gets Clubbed by a Blonde," a bikini-clad woman swats him over the head with a wooden two-by-four. "Hey Mark," reads a caption, "did you win an Emmy for that?"

Oh, and that congressman father?

Mr. Murphy also has to grapple with the legacy of his father, John M. Murphy, who represented Staten Island in Congress for nearly 20 years before serving a 20-month prison sentence in the 1980s after he was convicted in a corruption scandal. The two remain close, and Mr. Murphy wears his father's lapel pin, with a facsimile of the Verrazano-Narrows Bridge, as a good-luck charm.

Face, meet palm.

Seriously, Democrats? This is the best you can do? A crook's son who won't campaign and who has a mockable past? There was nobody other Democrat in the entire freaking district who looked like more credible as a candidate?

Pathetic. One more House seat the GOP shouldn't hold, but will.