Wednesday, June 16, 2004

Gary Aldrich, the disaffected FBI guy who wrote the Clinton-bashing Unlimited Access (#1 in The New York Times back in '96), has discovered the source of Hillary's diabolical power:


This past Sunday, Bill and Hillary Rodham Clinton had a chance to return to the scene of their many crimes - the White House - as President Bush hosted the unveiling of dual portraits of Bill and Hill. I guess it really was a co-presidency.

For the first time ever, a former First Lady is portrayed in a pantsuit - and a black one at that. I found it interesting that she came to the White House on Sunday dressed in a bright pastel – still a pantsuit – but one that would be suitable for a nationwide photo-op....

The word on Capitol Hill is that Senator Hillary and all her staff, which mainly consists of unhappy-looking young women with perpetually frowning facial masks, have made a pact that all shall wear black pantsuits on a daily basis. This is because today’s enlightened women (read Feminists) can’t be bothered thinking about what to wear as they rise in the morning. They have more important things to think about. For example, like how to take over the world in 2008....

Hillary, fresh from new attacks on President Bush, some fairly ugly and personal, didn’t turn down a chance to come back to where it all came apart for her and Bill. Did she bring her tape measure to plan for new curtains in the Oval Office? Does she imagine these to be black as well?

Yes -- not just a pants suit but a black pants suit! The preferred color of Satan himself!

(Er ... no, that's not right -- Satan is red, isn't he?)

Look, you really should read the whole thing -- just so you can be thankful this guy doesn't live next door to you, scaring your children. If you were casting the movie, you'd have to gene-splice George C. Scott and Anthony Perkins to play Aldrich. ("The other day, I watched a cat stalk and torture a helpless mouse – just before she killed and ate it. I swear I saw her grinning. The lesson? The mouse should never drop his guard because the cat has no sense of mercy and the cat is always hungry.")

And yes, your memory is correct -- he's the guy who claimed that the Clintons hung sexually explicit ornaments on the White House Christmas tree. For which he was rewarded not with a libel suit or institutionalization, but with multiple appearances in the mainstream media.

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