I THINK MARK HALPERIN IS FINALLY GOING TO GET WINGNUTTIA TO GIVE HIM A TUMBLE

A few years ago, Mark Halperin began trying to seduce the American right, all while hoping to stay in his marriage with "objective" journalism. His seduction technique was clumsy and obvious -- during the publicity tour for his first book, he praised Matt Drudge to the skies, and he fawningly tried to butter up Hugh Hewitt in a 2006 interview by saying, "Can I introduce you to my interns from Bob Jones University?," adding,

... your listeners ... should read the book and what we say in The Way To Win about how the media's been liberally biased in presidential campaign coverage, what needs to be done to try to fix it, and why the current system may not be any better with new media. But to lump me in with everybody else, I think, is doing people a disservice, because most of my colleagues, as you know, are in denial about it, or blind to it.

The right, however, wouldn't let him get to first base. Then Republicans lost two straight elections. So he co-authored a much more successful book, and he even revealed a willingness to go after right-wingers once in a while (here he is in 2010 accusing Drudge of playing the race card).

But I think he's going to get a call from his unrequited love soon. I imagine you already know about his little embarrassment this morning.

Mark Halperin, editor-at-large for Time, called President Obama “a dick” on Thursday on a popular MSNBC morning show and then quickly apologized.

“I thought he was a dick yesterday,” Halperin, who also is a senior political analyst for MSNBC, said on Morning Joe, referring to the President’s conduct during his press conference....

Do I have to explain what happens next? We attack Halperin for disrespecting the president. Roger Ailes orders a dozen Fox interns to work overtime turning the news archives and the Internet upside down, looking for examples of similar insulting language directed at George W. Bush, especially if such language is uttered or met with approval by people who are now condemning Halperin. This becomes a story all weekend on Fox, and possibly into next week. Halperin, perhaps, is banned from Morning Joe for a while, and forced to apologize at Time -- or suffers worse penalties. He then becomes a martyr to "political correctness." Ailes offers him double what he's getting from Morning Joe if he can break his contract and move over to the "straight news" part of Fox -- just to piss off the liberals.

It's not true love. It's more like revenge sex. But, years after he fell head over heels, I think Halperin's finally going to get some.

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UPDATE: MSNBC has suspended Halperin indefinitely. Inevitable Fox reaction coming any minute now: Indefinitely? Ed Schultz was only suspended for a week for calling Laura Ingraham a slut!

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BEST LINE ON THIS WHOLE MATTER: From Alex Pareene at Salon:

It seems wrong, to me, that in a conversation involving Joe Scarborough and Mark Halperin, a third party was somehow called a "dick"...

Indeed.

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AND: Rumproast reminds us of a tasteless, baffling penis-centric Farrelly brothers Photoshop gag Halperin posted at Time's Web site at the expense of Mary Landrieu, for some reason, in 2009. Sick boy.

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MORE: The Right Scoop thinks Halperin's suspension was the result of White House strong-arm tactics:

Just another point. Why did Halperin get fired when it was the fault of the 7-second-bleeper for letting it go out on the air? ...

This just goes to show you that it wasn't that he said it on the air, but that he insulted that Almighty Messiah Obama on the air. That's why they fired him. Makes me wonder even more how many phone calls MSNBC got from the White House to get rid of him.

That's likely to become a widespread right-wing talking pint.