Friday, September 25, 2009

Doug Giles...Doug Giles...Where Have I Heard That Name Before?

Oh, Yeah:

That would be this Doug Giles.

Giles: Now all I have to do if I want [pornography] is go on my laptop or click on Sesame Street (sic). When do you think it’s going to be in church or synagogue?

Hm. Seems like Hanna was probably just be imitating something daddy let her watch on his lap-top.

Doug is pro meat!

8. And lastly for now (‘til my book gets brokered), in Genesis chapter twenty-seven Isaac, one of Jehovah’s main covenant kids, gets to feeling a bit peckish one day, and you know what he asks for to satisfy his hunger? Was it tofu? No. Lentils? Wrong again. A wheat grass smoothie? Strike three, Chicken Little. It was venison, a Ted Nugent back strap fever feast, that’s what! Yep, Isaac commanded his son to pick up his bow and collect him a buck for some down home barbeque.

Doug likes chicks!

I’m not Homophobic; I’m Chick-O-Centric...9. When we look at a pretty girl, we think “wow” and say, “howdy.” To us, the lovely lady lumps trump a man’s hairy back any day. Call us crazy.

And for extra Clash-Points--from the Incomparable Sadly, No!

Can you guess which of the following were written by Doug Giles, and which were concocted by the twisted minds of Sadly, No!?

a) From a communication standpoint, the prophets, patriarchs, warriors and wild men of scripture were more like Bill O’Reilly.
b) My ClashPoint is this: Every exposed nipple on TV acts like a decay agent on our morality tooth.
c) I know this doesn’t sound like “paradise” for those who are immoral, lazy, stupid and fat, but it was God?s and primitive man’s idea of Yippee Land.
d) It’s about time all your say-nothing, do-nothing Christians open up a can of whoop ass of faith on the intolerant liberal secular minds that won’t rest until God is eliminated from our lives.
e) My ClashPoint is this: Listen, concerned Christian?even though the times are going to get tougher than Joan Rivers’ elbows before they get any better in the United States of Liberal Acrimony, we must not acquiesce.
f) We’ve become a society so free of character that slaying a dragon is no longer a requirement to be elected to the presidency.
g) Liberals eat away at our morals, like Michael Moore set free at the opening of a new Krispy Kreme Donuts.
h) We’ve got to re-inject a mega dose of faith, character and virtue back into the personal and national mix. That is, if we want to continue to enjoy a free and just society.
i) You?ll remain a voiceless, passive facilitator of secularism who squats on the sidelines of life, sitting out the greatest ideological battle our nation has ever faced.

No comments: