BUSH REVEALS FOREIGN POLICY WAS STUNT FOR MTV’S “JACKASS”

In a nationally televised address on Sunday, President George W. Bush revealed that his foreign policy has been an elaborate stunt for the popular MTV series "Jackass."

Mr. Bush told the nation that he had been a fan of the prank-based television program "for some time" and had been actively searching for a stunt worthy of the show.

The President said he was first inspired to emulate a "Jackass" stunt in which a prankster poured scalding water on a sleeping friend, but when he sought to play the same prank on Vice President Dick Cheney, Mr. Cheney was "nowhere to be found."

Instead, Mr. Bush said, he decided to concoct a "Jackass"-style foreign policy, diverting resources away from the search for Osama bin Laden and towards the invasion of Iraq.

While Mr. Bush said his stunt had been a success, he warned viewers, "Do not – I repeat – do not try this at home."...

--Andy Borowitz

(Thanks to Billmon for the link.)