Three horrifying cultural phenomena that probably deserve one another: tribute bands, '80s hair metal, and the Republican Party. According to Anne Schroeder's "Shenanigans" blog at the Politico, which purports to cover "the fun, tawdry side of Washington," you can experience them all at once if you're in D.C.:

"Conservatives in the '80s weren't listening to this stuff, but the sustaining popularity of hair metal shows that their kids definitely were and still are. Now you can be conservative by day and a rocker by night. What's not to love about dudes in long hair singing at the top of their lungs about rebellion, a beat that could induce vomiting in small children, power chords that make you want to rip your shirt off ... and no hippies! It's everything that's wonderful about America."

--A GOP-er insisting to Shenanigans that conservatives rock out and have fun, specifically about tomorrow night's Toxic Mouse "Ultimate '80s Hair Metal Tribute" concert at Clarendon Grill

That would be these guys.

If they're "everything that's wonderful about America," perhaps I should move to another country.