Thursday, May 15, 2003

The Republican Party regards itself as "the party of ideas" -- and now those ideas are being articulated by a new voice. Joining such savants as Gary Aldrich, Paul Weyrich, and Tammy Bruce is a new pundit writing for the right-wing Web site NewsMax: Melrose Larry Green.

Some of you know exactly who that is. The rest of you are fortunate. This site explains:

While standing on the corner of Melrose and Vine in Los Angeles almost every morning with a sandwich board preaching the virtues of Howard Stern, Melrose Larry Green came to life. Melrose has traveled around the country with his signs being beaten, arrested and verbally abused while exclaiming "Baba Booey" to the world. Hated by most fans and Gary [Dell'Abate, producer of Howard Stern's show], Melrose endures due to Howard's fascination with him.

Here's his vitae, from

You probably think a guy like this can't possibly be taken seriously as a political commentator. But consider:

* Michael Savage, a self-proclamed "World Famous Herbal Expert," has a high-rated radio show, a TV show on MSNBC, and a #1 New York Times bestseller;

* P.J. O'Rourke, who used to write articles for National Lampoon with titles such as "How to Drive Fast on Drugs While Getting Your Wing-Wang Squeezed and Not Spill Your Drink," is a best-selling author and is now considered a political philosopher;

* Dr. Laura Schlessinger, a Ph.D. in physiology, is a successful radio host and author and is now considered a moral philosopher;

* Dennis Miller, who once sang a song on Saturday Night Live the chorus of which consisted of the word "penis" repeated over and over, has now written his first Wall Street Journal op-ed piece.

So it's entirely possible that in a few years we'll see Bill O'Reilly nodding sagely and agreeing with Melrose Larry's opinions about Ted Kennedy, while he tells Katrina vanden Heuvel that she's an idiot.

One of Melrose Larry's NewsMax articles is "Moran's Remarks 'Insensitive, Irresponsible and Inaccurate,'" a response to anti-Semitic comments by the conservative Democratic congressman. Larry writes:

As an American and a Jew, I was shocked to read the recent anti-Semitic comments of Rep. James P. Moran, D-Va. ... These remarks are insensitive, irresponsible and inaccurate.

Here's an excerpt from Private Parts, the first book by Howard Stern, a man Larry deeply admires:

Take the Mexicans. They're nice people. I got nothing against Mexicans, but if they're Mexicans, they should be in Mexico. And the ones that come here are so angry. Of course, I'd be confused and angry, too, if I had dark skin and white people's hair. Speaking of hair, how do you like those Hispanic chicks who dye their hair blond? That's an attractive look. No wonder some Spanish guys are ready to rape any white woman who comes along.

Now that I think of it, I wonder why Stern isn't writing for NewsMax.

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