Wednesday, December 21, 2011


Ashley Parker at the Caucus blog of The New York Times makes a tentative stab at turning Mitt Romney into 2000-vintage John McCain (or George W. Bush):

NEWPORT, N.H. -- ... on Wednesday afternoon, Mr. Romney offered up his own moniker for the press bus: "This is the John Kerry bus," Mr. Romney quipped, when a group of finicky reporters didn't immediately jump for the submarine sandwiches he tried to pass out for lunch.

"Turkey, turkey, I've got a whole flock," Mr. Romney said good-naturedly, as he climbed onto the press bus after a drop-in at a pizza joint here. "Roast beef going once? Ham? Ham? What are you guys eating back here? What do you guys want?"

Turning to a group of reporters who had passed up several different types of sandwiches, he joked: "Filet mignon with some brie, is that it back here? Some Arugula? This is the John Kerry bus back there."

Mr. Romney has been making himself more available to the news media, sitting down for print and television interviews, and making an effort to joke around with the press corps who travels with him....

Yup, and apparently it's working if you're posting treacle like this, Ashley.

He just has to give this glad-handing stuff a reasonable effort and sooner or later the press is going to cover it as if he's a Kennedyesque wit. The press wants a new hero/pal and a new narrative -- how hard could it be for the scribes to fit Romney into that mold? Don't believe me? Here, let me try, just off the top of my head:

"After a decade of turbulence -- terrorism, war, financial calamity -- perhaps America is hungry for a little boring. Mitt Romney isn't the most exciting guy, but dull could be just what America craves now. Is it possible that Romney's style -- predictable, cautious, buttoned down -- is precisely what the nation is looking for after ten roller-coaster years? ..."

See? That was easy. A thousand dispatches and "think" pieces like that over the next year and Romney will be picking Cabinet members.


UPDATE: The same story, with added details, is at ABC, under the headline "Romney Orders Hawaiian Pizza, Feeds Reporters." This is what the campaign wants out there, and our press corps is only too happy to comply.


c u n d gulag said...

And just wait until he's in front and starts "Operation BBQ" - modeled after McCain's efforts!

The only thing is, after watching Mitt handle a spatula in Iowa and a few other states in the last 4+ years, I think he's as unfamiliar with that implement as a caveman would be with a buzz saw.
Johnny Mac could at least fake making it look like he knew his way around a grill.

Plus, I wonder how the MSM'll treat him if he doesn't serve beer or cocktails at his hoedowns? (No, not that kind of "ho," down!). Then imagine all of these MSM lush's looking in cooler after cooler looking for something that refreshes besides Coke, Pepsi, or iced Tea, and see if the the anger doesn't build?
And if he does, is that some sort of sin in the Mormon religion? I don't have a clue, since I find one religion about as fucking idiotic and rediculous as the next one.

But, combined with what you said, if the old boy can handle grilling some ribs, having some cold ones around, and kidding around with a bunch of alchololic sycophant wannabe's, as they used to say in Brooklyn, "Da woild wood be hiz urster!"

God save us all...

Danp said...

He should serve them rodents, just to prove he's a real hunter.

Steve M. said...

W didn't drink by 2000, yet all the scribes wanted to pound brewskis with him.

c u n d gulag said...

And tell the coastal elites in the MSM that they're varmints he shot himself, to make it sound classier.

Or, just get them drunk while they're eating the rodents, and if they remember his claims about varmints from 4 years ago, tell them that the drinks they're swilling are called 'varmint's' - and are the original French model for the mojito's every new-age drunk loves.

c u n d gulag said...

Yeah, but Little Boots was ok with them drinking around him - they were his pals!
Besides, he waited to drink his liter of Chivas and wash down a bag of pretzels with a few ice-cold Lone Star's after they all left.

Does being a devout Mormon mean that you can use alcohol the way a cheap hooker uses perfume to entice the fools, and make you look better, like W done did? And McCain?
That's what I wonder?

c u n d gulag said...

Hawaiian Pizza?
Is that with pineapples, like the California pizza's?
It's not a pizza if there's fruit on it. That is an abomination to God and nature!
Now, you can put any kind of meat or veggie on it, even, say, muskrat and turnips, and that would qualify as a pizza. Not a good one, but a pizza.
Call it something else.

That's kind of like the martini craze of the last decade or so. A froo-froo sweet drink in a Martini glass IS NOT A MARTINI! It's just a froo-froo sweet drink in a Martini glass! Calling THAT a martini is also an abomination to God and nature.
A Martini is either made with gin or vodka, some dry vermouth, and olives, a twist of lemon, or, for the adventurous - both. THAT is a martini! You can serve it "up," or "on the rocks." Throw in some cocktail onions, and that's a Gibson.
Jesus, even Peggy Noonan can tell you that.

So, if Mitt served me a Hawaiian pizza, I would know that he wasn't a real American, just some rich elitist Cyborg freak who knows about as much about food as he does the economy.
Hawaiian pizza my ass..

Steve M. said...

Well, Michelle Obama is eating Hawaiian pizza too, but she's actually in Hawaii.

c u n d gulag said...

Fruit on pizza is a sign of the Anti-Christ, and froo-froo Martini's will bring about The End Times!

Repent, yee layers on of fruit into pizza and Martini glasses!