Wednesday, December 14, 2011


What's Fox Nation whining about now? This Washington Post story tells us that the Consumer Product Safety Commission wants us to exercise caution when buying and trimming a Christmas tree, and when putting up other decorations. The response to these warnings at Fox Nation? Fox is against them:

The quoted article tells us:

'Tis the season for dancing sugarplums, goodwill toward all -- and sometimes emergency-room trips for holiday decorating injuries.

The Consumer Product Safety Commission said Tuesday that injuries involving falls from ladders while stringing lights, cuts from broken glass ornaments and other decorating activities are on the rise.

The agency also reminded people that those twinkling Christmas trees can erupt into flames in a matter of seconds if they come in contact with an open flame.

"A well-watered tree, carefully placed candles, and carefully checked holiday light sets will help prevent the joy of the holidays from turning into a trip to the emergency room or the loss of your home," said Commission Chairman Inez Tenenbaum....

Fox Nation posts this under the heading "War on Christmas."

And though his name is never mentioned, the implication is that this must be the fault of that horrible socialist nanny-stater Barack Obama! Under his administration, the feds want you to check for freshness if you buy a live tree! If you buy an artificial tree, they want you to check to see if it's fire retardant! They want you to make sure your lights are UL-approved! Will no one save us from this tyranny?

But wait -- here are some of the same warning being issued by the Consumer Product Safety Commission ... in 1982, during the presidency of Saint Ronald Reagan!

Yeah, the CPSC (founded during the Nixon administration) has been issuing warnings like this for years -- at least since 1974 (under Gerald Ford). Even in the Reagan era, they were widely accepted. Now they're a sign that the government hates Christians, according to Fox.


Rugosa said...

'cause it just isn't Christmas without the traditional bonfire as the neighbor's house goes up in flames.

c u n d gulag said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
c u n d gulag said...

Real patriots, I'm talking 2nd Amendment real patriots, don't worry about shit like safety.

Why, a real 2nd Amendment Patriot would find the oldest Christmas tree he could find.
Because Christmas is old, that's why! 6,000 years old! Why do you think God invented brontosauruses? It wasn't just for Adam and Eve, not Steve, to ride. No, it was also to help put the star on the top of the Christmas at the manger in Jerusalem, or Bethlehem, or Babylon, or wherever, after the 3 Wise Men rode them in following that star - and don't believe none of that 'they rode in on camels' bullshit - that's some Muslim trick.

Then, the patriot would decorate that tree with bandoliers of bullets, and hand-grenades hand-painted by their children in festive Christmas colors - but NO blue - ain't no blue in Red State Christmas.
And instead of lights or candles, he'd put those 4th of July sparklers on for the children to light.
And a cross made out of bazooka's at the top.

After all, it's Christmas, and you might as well celebrate it with a bang!

Of course, the downside is that you can only celebrate Christmas like this once.
On the plus-side, you and the kid's will be at the right-hand side of Jesus for every Christmas after that. And maybe, one Christmas, Jesus will let one of your children polish his Glock automatic before he hits the firing range to celebrate his birthday!

Steve M. said...

You think you were joking about decorating the tree with bullets, but sometimes satire can't outrace reality.

c u n d gulag said...

Fiction just took another bullet, and it was the truth that fired!

Holy hand-grenades, Batman, what's next?

Never mind!
I don't want to know...