They really aren't:
This is why any list of "Top Ten Reasons Newt Won't Win" that begins with "1: He has a troubled marital history" should start at #2. Remember: right-wing morality is not intended for right-wingers -- it's intended for me and for you, you sex-crazed hippie.
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Well, those voters would have "major concerns" about Newt, except that Newt's been washed in the Blood of the Lamb now, hath yea-verily repented, and for good measure has married his own infallibility to Il Papa's. So there, you dirty hippie.
If they saw thin-skinned, humorless Mitt on FOX, they realize that Obama might just eat him up and spit him out in a debate.
But they think that Newt's very, very smart, and can out-debate the President.
And that Newt will make a point sooooo brilliant, that it'll make Obama's teleprompter blow a gasket, and he'll stand there stammering like an android whose circuit's have been fried.
Then, Conservatives can cheer like the kid's who put a computer virus into the space alien's Mothership, which can apparently go faster than the speed of light, travel half-way across a galazy, and blow up whole cities, but which can't handle something simple like that, and so, the Mothership blows up in the mother of all explosions.
"WOLVERINES!!!"
And you know, there might be some truth to this, because if I was Obama, and heard Newt's 'put the children to work as janitors' line the first time in a debate, I just might freeze myself. I might no know whether to laugh or attack, and be afraid of looking cruel when I exposed the white guy's "Wizard of Ooze" to be the shit-talking, grifting charlatan that he is.
And maybe that's Newt's plan if Obama does agree to a series Lincoln-Douglas debates.
After all, if you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, you baffle 'em with bullshit.
Bull Shit
More Shit
Piled High and Deeper.
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