SCOTT McCLELLAN: FREEDOM-THREATENING ENABLER OF TERRORISTS AND/OR POLAR BEARS

To Darla from Bellingham, Washington, a Rush Limbaugh caller, McClellan is the former -- a henchman of bin Laden:

RUSH: We'll start with Darla in Bellingham, Washington. Hi, Darla, nice to have you here.

CALLER: Hi, Rush. I tell you, I'm so... I'm so... I can hardly talk. I am so upset about this Scott McClellan book. I -- I have children and grandchildren that I have to try to protect in our great nation. And here for a buck, for payback, I don't care what it is. He can't wait 'til the president's out of office? We have to do things, and, of course, he has more credence because he's known, quote, unquote, the president longer than many so he comes out with this trashy crap in this book that gives to the haters of this country, the terrorists of the world. If it makes our news media wonder if the president's going to comment on it while he's trying to give a speech to a graduating class then, oh, it must be that important, well, if they say it and it emboldens them -- and it always does embolden them -- well, does it make the country safer? Where is the patriotism in this country? I can certainly say it. We have lost our soul. Scott, you're a citizen of the country first. If it's payback to the president, fine. Is it payback to me? Is it payback to my family, too? Do you have to make the buck first? (voice breaking)....

CALLER: We're on a slippery slope right now, and if we don't get, if the people in this country don't get their heads screwed on straight, and I would advise -- I know this sounds melodramatic, and I don't care. Look into the eyes of your children and your grandchildren every day and make the conscious decision, "Do I want to live under tyranny, do I want to live under the great freedoms of this nation -- or not?" ...

We had them on the run -- all of Al Qaeda was thisclose to surrendering en masse -- and then an advance copy of McClellan's book reached Osama's cave ... and now he and his evil minions have the will to fight on. Thanks a lot, Scotty.

Rush, however, wants to be sure that Darla understands that this is also part of the liberofascist pro-polar bear conspiracy:

RUSH: Why do we have to have hatred for the country as well as hatred for the president? Liberalism. Liberalism is the greatest threat the country, as we have known it, faces....

RUSH: ... You don't have to look at McClellan. Look at the failure of the war on poverty. Look at the failure of Medicare. Look at the failure of Medicaid. Look at the failure of AFDC. Look at the failure of the Great Society. Everything the liberals do fails. And they try to say, "Well, don't judge us on our results. Judge us on our great big hearts and our good intentions." Everything they do they destroy! This global warming business, you want to talk about an encroachment on freedom. Try this. This is a story from the UK. It's in the Daily Mail. "Every adult should be forced to use a carbon ration card when they pay for petrol, airline tickets, or household energy, say members of parliament." Now, we, Darla, have just had polls last week from UK citizens who are fed up with these new taxes to stop greenhouse gases and the carbon footprint. They are paying through the nose already, and they haven't noticed any improvement in the environment and the naysayers and the scaremongers are still saying, "We gotta do more! We haven't done enough!" They recognize what all this is. It's just a hoax to raise taxes....

So is McClellan a terrorist-enabler or the tool of polar-bear-hugging, freedom-hating tax-lovers? I'm so confused! Well, it's all one huge conspiracy, and Rush and Darla are both right, and they end their call with a big hug:

...RUSH: You know what, I love your passion, and we're going to have the reaction to your call -- I've been checking just subject lines in the e-mails here while we've been speaking -- and people are standing up out there cheering you.

CALLER: Oh, I'm so glad.

RUSH: They are, because most people feel alone. I mean I'm sure you look at whatever -- the McClellan book incident or the latest Republican to cave and join the Democrats or whatever -- and you look around, and you feel like, "Gosh, am I isolated? Am I the only one sane in this country?" And you have to have faith that there are far more than -- and I think you understand this because you said so. There are far more than you that understand this.

...RUSH: [The liberals] are trying to redefine patriotism to equal what they are doing to George W. Bush and what they are doing to the country. Their patriotism is built on the foundation that this country is a fraud, that this country is oriented toward evil and that this country needs to be brought down to size.... This presidential campaign on the Democrat side is a great example. They're illustrating for us exactly who they are and what they are and you've nailed 'em. And don't think you're the only one out there that has been able to put this together on our own. I'm glad you called, Darla. It's really great. I'm a little long here. In fact, I'm way long. I have just blown the programming format to smithereens but that's because of how good you were.

So McClellan is an agent of the Islamomuslonazis and it's all because liberals hate America, as evidenced by a British carbon-tax proposal. Glad they straightened all that out for us.