Tuesday, April 29, 2008


It's scheduled to appear tomorrow, and I think it's going to be called "The Pansies of April." Starting with North Carolina governor Mike Easley's words of praise for Hillary Clinton -- that she "makes Rocky Balboa look like a pansy" -- Dowd's going to Google some information about growing the pansy and do an extended horticulture/masculinity riff suggesting that delicate flower Obama bloomed early (pansies bloom "until hot weather arrives") but then decided to "man up" (there's a 99% chance she'll use that phrase, even though it screws up her metaphor) and de-pansify himself by denouncing Jeremiah Wright (whom she's 68% certain to call "the skunk in the garden").

That's as far as I've gotten. Anyone else have any thoughts?


UPDATE: I recommend dnA's MoDo column in comments -- very nasty.


UPDATE: Well, dnA wins, and it's not even close. dnA channeling Dowd:

Delicate hands trembling, the only genuine rage Obama could muster is towards the suggestion that his earlier condemnation of Wright was a "political move," perhaps the only thing the singing crack pot said that was true.

The real Dowd:

But in the end, it was Wright showing "disrespect" by implying that Obama was a phony that sparked the candidate’s slow-burning temper. "What I think particularly angered me," he said, "was his suggestion somehow that my previous denunciation of his remarks was somehow political posturing."


Of course, Obama standing on that stage in North Carolina, looked desperately in need of a pack of Kools and glass of merlot as he threw Reverend Wright under the bus with his grandmother.


Speaking to reporters in the heart of tobacco country in Winston-Salem, N.C., the poor guy looked as if he were dying for a smoke.

But dnA's is funnier on purpose than Dowd is inadvertently. (She's mostly in faux-somber mode -- I should have known she'd get faux-somber, as if she still has painful memories of watching a nun in her grade school whack a kid's hand with a steel ruler for saying "nigger" while issuing a stern lecture about how God sees all souls as equal, even those of Negroes -- or maybe it's just that Dowd didn't want to put the boot in full force while Obama's still standing and there's still a Hillary to be slain.) Oh, and there's no talk of pansies, so I wasn't even close. So a round of applause for dnA.

No comments: