Monday, November 02, 2015


I've been looking at the debate demands from the Republican presidential candidates and I'm trying to figure out what the demand-making candidates most remind me of. Diva pop stars insisting on special bendy straws and no brown M&Ms backstage? That Twilight Zone kid with supernatural powers who banished adults to the cornfield if they didn't do exactly what he wanted them to do? Delicate flowers who think each debate should be an Everyone Gets a Trophy Day?

And all this is an attempt to rid the debate process of liberal media bias, right? If that's the case, I'm confused. What do the following, taken from the letter prepared for debate-hosting media outlets, have to do with liberalism?
... * Who is the moderator? Will there be any additional questioners? Are they seated? ...

* What format do you envision -- podiums, table, other? ...

* Will you commit that you will not:

... o Allow candidate-to-candidate questioning

o Allow props or pledges by the candidates....

* What type of microphones (lavs or podium)? ...
So seated debate questioners are liberal, while True Patriot questioners are forced to stand? Or is it the other way around?

Podiums are socialist, while constitutional conservatives insist on tables? Or vice versa?

Candidate-to-candidate questioning is bad, because one Republican asking another Republican a question is a nefarious scheme cooked up by the Democrat Party?

Allowing debaters to pledge to do something if elected is a ruse straight out of The Communist Manifesto?

Podium microphones are what Davey Crockett would have used, while lavalier microphones are ... French?

I await clarification on all of these matters.


mlbxxxxxx said...

Each of these umpteen candidates is now going to try to shape the future debates to advantage themselves. Christie, for example, badly needs to use a lavaliere. When he bends over the lectern to yell into the mic (which apparently he must do) it makes his ass look about 3 times bigger than it already is -- he really doesn't need that. I'd be willing to bet that that particular question came from the Christie camp.

Regardless, it is a strange moment in our electoral experiment. My guess is that the horrible, no-good, mean, liberal media will let this pass as a perfectly rational response on the part of the GOPers to scrutiny. In the fifty shades of grey relationship the media has with the GOP, they do not have a safe word. Don't need one, they feel they deserve whatever punishment the GOPers mete out.

Feud Turgidson said...

Doesn't matter: Trump's negotiating his own deal.

'I want the candidates, entourages & all network people booked into the nearest Trump hotel. The Trump hotel management will have exclusive control over allocating rooms.

I want walk-way carpets leading up to each podium, each in a different color. I want mine in platinum shimmering with gold leaf. To preserve neutrality, no one gets to use red.

I want a rimshot for every one of my zingers. I don't script these things, so I'll need the control buzzer discretely placed at my podium.
No one else gets one. If anyone asks, they can have a choice of either the fart noise or that WAH-Wah-wah sound; this is a deal breaker.

I want card girls circulating after each round. Each one should wear a Brazilian dental-floss bathing suit bottom and half-football jerseys in the same color as their candidate's walk-way carpets. If the others don't want one, that's fine, even if mine's the only one.

Each card girl's card will have a number on it, but my number can only be "1" or "10". If I'm given "1", there can't be a "10", just "9" & "9B"; if I get "10", no "1" just "2" then "0".

Each candidate has to produce his or her spouse & one child for an evening wear segment.

Rubio has to be next to Bush. I'm trying to help your ratings here.

I'm not about to demand the most question time, but by the end no other candidate should have received more time than me. It's only fair.

If a question is asked of a candidate who then doesn't begin to respond within 4 seconds, they lose their time. I'm not pointing fingers; I'm just trying to save your network dead air time.

Each candidate will be free to drop the name of any commercial property in which they have an interest including 'diet supplements', but if they do there has to be a follow-up question about how it works or if it's ever been fined for false or misleading advertising.

Now let's move on to the negotiable items ...'