Wednesday, November 26, 2003

The grown-ups, in charge:

Reporters knew they were in for a treat when arriving at the Senate GOP end-of-year press conference and being greeted by a backdrop of footballs on blue ground.

Sure enough, Republican leaders brought a football and a penalty flag to the event, to show they had scored for the American people but also been subject to Democratic fouls.

A theme is a good thing, until, as almost inevitably happens, it is overdone.

When Sen. Rick Santorum (R-Pa.) handed off the ball to his “quarterback,” Majority Leader Bill Frist (R-Tenn.), Frist first remarked that a QB would not actually receive a handoff.

Santorum is not to blame. After all, as a Pennsylvanian, he will remember Kordell “Slash” Stewart doing it all for the Steelers. Anyway, the theme was off to a bad start.

To the rescue came a chart that detailed Democratic obstructionism. Calling it witty and creative would be an understatement. It was very clever. “Illegal procedure” on judicial nominees, Majority Whip Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) topped this later by calling it “intentional grounding,” “holding” on liability reform and “pass interference” on blocking the energy legislation.

Despite scoring a touchdown for creativity and surging in the lead, the senators did not sit on the football to get the win. They said Minority Leader Tom Daschle (D-S.D.) should have “called a play in the huddle” on the energy legislation.

“Fuuumble!!!”

In the end, the GOP still came out ahead, when former University of Virginia quarterback George Allen (R-Va.) hit Santorum for a five-yard pass across the Mansfield room and Santorum threw his makeshift penalty flags. Nothing like props to pull out a late victory.


--The Hill

Yeah, I'm sure this is what the Founding Fathers had in mind.

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