Thursday, December 10, 2015

TOUGH-GUY JEB: MY LAWYERS CAN BEAT UP YOUR LAWYERS!

Jeb Bush attacks Donald Trump with all the enthusiasm and vigor of a regional branch manager updating a spreadsheet -- but his lawyers? They're not low-energy! Maybe they should run in his place:
Jeb Bush's leadership PAC filed a Federal Election Commission complaint against Donald Trump Wednesday, accusing his campaign of illegally accepting corporate funds by using the Trump Organization's legal counsel to fire off cease-and-desist letters to critics. The PAC received such a letter last week from Alan Garten, general counsel for the Trump Organization, who threatened "immediate legal action" if the group produced ads that attacked the billionaire developer.
So apparently it's a campaign finance violation for Trump to use attorneys who work for his business to threaten Jeb's PAC. Did you know that? Did you care?

But what inspired Jeb's lawyers to heights of snark was the fact that Trump's counsel sent the cease-and-desist letter to the wrong Jeb PAC:
... Garten sent the letter to the Right to Rise PAC, a leadership PAC that has made contributions to Republican candidates, instead of to its sister super PAC, Right to Rise USA, which has begun running a television spot hammering Trump and other GOP candidates as unqualified to be commander in chief.

This rookie mistake drew no small amount of derision from Charlie Spies and James E. Tyrrell III, the attorneys for the PAC. In a letter to Garten Wednesday, the lawyers urged him to consult the FEC website "to familiarize yourself about the differences between Leadership PACs and Super PACs."
Oooh, sick burn!
Or, they suggested, he could skim two key federal court decisions in 2010 that paved the way for the creation of super PACs. "They are both very helpful and might clear up some of your confusion," they wrote....

"Just as your client is attempting to quickly learn the basics of foreign policy, we wish you personally the best in your attempts to learn election law," Spies and Tyrrell concluded.
There's more, and it's somewhat amusing -- but really, isn't this emblematic of the entire Jeb Bush campaign? Jeb was supposed to be the alpha candidate in a field of betas, yet he can't land a punch on any of his opponents, clearly because he doesn't want to. But he's willing to pay high-priced guys in suits to fight for him, you betcha!

That's worked for other members of his family when the hired fighters-in-suits were genuine thugs -- Lee Atwater, Roger Ailes, Karl Rove. But Jeb's surrogates are fighting over campaign finance law. Jeb and his team think Trump has been totally owned because they reminded him that a leadership PAC and a super PAC are two different things. Jeb needs to win over moderately conservative retirees in New Hampshire whose next egg is dwindling and who just lost a nephew to opiate addiction, and he thinks the way to do it is to pay a couple of lawyers to tell PAC jokes.

Sorry, Jeb, you're still pathetic.

6 comments:

John Taylor said...

Donald Trump has terrible policies. The ones that he cares to share with the rest of us, anyway. That said, every article on every blog site is about him. The man is a genius marketer I'll give him that.

Unknown said...

... or else the others are almost entirely terrible at it.

Steve M. said...

Exactly. Whatever happened to the GOP's deep bench?

Ten Bears said...

GOP has a deep bench?

Victor said...

The GOP's "deep bench," is still too busy denying whipping the non-white/male galley slaves - and/or throwing them overboard - for the past few dozen decades, to try to steer their ship of fool... state.

Unknown said...

Could be being misinterpreted?

So - maybe not "deep [word] bench [word]", but instead:

(a) "dee [pidjin for 'the'] bench [noun]",
as in, an assessment that a given team's talent level is such that all of them should properly be regarded as replaceable, as any one could theoretically be substituted for by any other without the least objectively measurable difference in material consequences or outcome, e.g. used in context,

'Once Billa Beane ship' Josh Donaldson to Trawna, turns out it dint made no difference no how to their league standing if'n this utility infielder or that cornerman unda dey control was or was not in dee day's line-up, or inactive on dee fohty man roster, or playin' or jes' sittin' with one o' dee baby teams in dee minors, or wokeen dee phone maybe fine some jahb in dee Dutch Ann Tea Leaves whila settin' on dey ass inna rehab whirlpool, ever thang were jes' zackly dee same as dee bench'; or

(b) "debench [verb]",
in context: the political equivalent of one's ideally aspirational goal upon calling in an organic pest exterminator.