Friday, July 16, 2010


So what's the Republican solution to all the massive problems that we have?  What smart governance will they implement to deal with the economy, jobs, the oil geyser's effects in the Gulf, and all the other domestic problems we have right now?  John "Orange Julius" Boehner has a game plan for the American people.
"I think having a moratorium on new federal regulations is a great idea it sends a wonderful signal to the private sector that they're going to have some breathing room."
Errrmm...say what there, OJ?
"I think there's probably a way to do this with an exemption for emergency regulations that may be needed for some particular agency or another. But if the American people knew there was going to be a moratorium in effect for a year that the federal government wasn't going to issue thousands more regulations, it would give them some breathing room."
So faced with all the problems that America is facing right now, the Orange Julius Solution offered for the 2010 election do nothing.  Stick your head in the sand.  Don't even try to regulate ANYTHING.  Let the free market just run around naked for a year with guns and booze and hump everybody who walks by.  For an entire year.  This is your solution.  Repeal the laws you don't like and keep the government from issuing regulations for a yeah while we're heading over the waterfall.  The best part is Obama's still there so you can blame him when this doesn't work.  Brilliant.

Abdicate responsibility through applied nihilism.  I even have the perfect campaign commercial for this.

Yes voters, you can keep the Democratic red snapper or you can go for the Republican solution in the box. What's in the box? NOTHING!  STUPID!  YOU SO STUPID!

Why, what did you think the Republican solution would be?  Vote for us, we're going to do nothing!  There's your choice in 2010.  And hey, firebag on Obama some more while you're at it, because America's pretty damn close to choosing the box over the most productive red snapper this country has seen in decades.

But Obama hasn't fixed everything yet!  Let's put the Nothing in charge again.  Won't that be better?

No comments: