Wednesday, March 11, 2009


In a recent poll, Rasmussen asked who leads the GOP -- "Michael Steele, John McCain, Sarah Palin, Mitch McConnell, John Boehner, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, someone else or is there no clear leader?" But maybe future polls will need to include one more name: Chuck Norris. He's regarded as a star among Republicans -- Mike Huckabee began to surge in Republican polls shortly after Norris endorsed him -- and his latest pronouncement is sure to be wildly popular in the GOP base:

...Chuck Norris ... claims that thousands of right wing cell groups have organized and are ready for a second American Revolution. During an appearance on the Glen Beck radio show he promised that if things get any worse from his point of view he may "run for president of Texas." ...

Today in his syndicated column on WorldNetDaily Norris reiterates the point: "That need may be a reality sooner than we think. If not me, someone someday may again be running for president of the Lone Star state, if the state of the union continues to turn into the enemy of the state." ...

I'm eager to see Texas secede -- or, hell, the rest of the damn Confederacy. America's crazy party, the GOP, is a regional party now, and this is the GOP's region. So go -- be my guest.

I want this to happen if only because I think we'd finally get to see the true wish list of the leadership and (especially) the crazy base of the Republican Party (or whatever it would be called post-secession -- the Reagan and Jesus Rock! Party? the God and Freedom Through Mandatory Private Gun Ownership Party?). What would be the first act of the new government? Extermination of all Muslims and Mexicans? Nationwide jamming of the NPR signal? Air strikes on Sean Penn's house?

I want the whole crowd to flock to JesusGunistan, even if they're not from the geographic confines -- Palin, Limbaugh, Cantor, Coulter. I want them to crow that they've seen the future and it works, all while trying to figure out how to get a pothole repaired after your Constitution has abolished taxation and government spending on domestic needs.

Unfortunately, I don't think these folks are really serious. From Norris's WND column:

For those losing hope, and others wanting to rekindle the patriotic fires of early America, I encourage you to join Fox News' Glenn Beck, me and millions of people across the country in the live telecast, "We Surround Them," on Friday afternoon (March 13 at 5 p.m. ET, 4 p.m. CT and 2 p.m. PST). Thousands of cell groups will be united around the country in solidarity over the concerns for our nation. You can host or attend a viewing party by going to Glenn's website. My wife Gena and I will be hosting one from our Texas ranch, in which we've invited many family members, friends and law enforcement to join us. It's our way of saying "We're united, we're tired of the corruption, and we're not going to take it anymore!"

I should be self-righteous and point out that this is a shocking declaration of near-treason on national TV, and a major (well, B-list) celebrity is fomenting revolution and inviting "law enforcement" to join him.

On the other hand, the revolutionary act here is watching television. What's more, Fox doesn't even think this show is worth airing in prime time.

I say we collect all the military weapons and move all the bases north. Then, as far as I'm concerned, these guys can go without firing a shot. If they can get themselves off the couch.

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