PROTOCOLS OF THE ELDERS OF CHAPPAQUA

Oh crap, here we go again.... The crazies are back to dishing out stories like this, and today they got an alternative paper in Richmond, Virginia, to bite:

Kathleen Willey Reports Stolen Manuscript, Suspects "Clinton Operative"

Kathleen Willey had planned to spend the Labor Day weekend proofing pages of her forthcoming book, "Target: In the Crosshairs of Bill and Hillary Clinton."

Instead, she says, someone broke into her Powhatan County home Friday, Aug. 31, and stole a copy of her unpublished 230-page manuscript. Her publishers are "aghast," she says.

"I think it's a Clinton operative," Willey says....

Willey says she was sleeping upstairs in her two-story house with the windows open Friday night (Aug. 31). She vaguely recalls her dogs barking, she says, but they quieted down and she went back to sleep.

"I realized the next morning that my purse was gone," Willey says. She called the police and canceled her credit cards. Then, she says, she found her purse in the woods. The credit cards were there, but the cash was gone.

...What really has Willey reeling is that she discovered one of her two book manuscripts missing from the desk in her first-floor study. She says someone had also gotten onto her laptop computer, broken her car antenna and did something that caused her DirecTV service to malfunction....

Yeah, that's a trade secret of the real pros, the ultra-sophisticated and unbelievably sinister operatives who do this kind of thing year in and year out for the Clintpranos and never, ever get caught -- always screw up the DirecTV!

The Clinton crazies will tell you, of course, that when people around the Clintons aren't dying under mysterious circumstances, they're experiencing mysterious burglaries:

AP 7/15/95 "A burglar broke into the car of a White House lawyer preparing for Senate questioning in the Whitewater affair and stole copies of her handwritten notes about the handling of Vincent Foster's papers."

Chattanooga Free Press 7/14/95 ... ".The car of an aide to President Clinton's chief counsel was burglarized this week and several "sensitive documents" were stolen, White House officials said late Thursday. ... The car belongs to Cheryl D. Mills, a special assistant to White House counsel Abner Mikva.."...."

And sometimes they get burglarized and murdered:

7/20/98 Michael Reagan "...The night Foster died, a man named Jerry Luther Parks was watching TV in his Little Rock home when a news bulletin announced Foster's death. Parks turned pale. "I'm a dead man," he whispered. For weeks after Foster's death, he lived in fear, constantly watching his back, and even taking a gun with him when he went to the mailbox. On Sunday, September 25, 1993 -- two months after the Foster death -- Jerry Luther Parks was returning home from a restaurant when a white Chevy Caprice with two men pulled up alongside his car. The passenger sprayed Parks' car with semiautomatic gunfire, then jumped out and finished Parks off with a 9 mm handgun. The killers were never apprehended. Parks had been a player in Bill Clinton's Arkansas political machine for years, and first became acquainted with Foster by doing investigative work for the Rose Law Firm in the 1980s. The London Telegraph's Ambrose Evans-Pritchard reports that in the late '80s, Foster -- apparently on behalf of Hillary Clinton -- hired Parks to do surveillance on Bill Clinton "to gauge exactly how vulnerable her husband would be to charges of philandering" if he ran for president. Parks accumulated thick files (with photographs) detailing the future president's pattern of womanizing. According to Parks' widow, Foster called Parks from Washington about a week before his death, saying Hillary was frantic about those files and the potential damage they could cause both Bill and Hillary. Just a day or two before his death, Foster called Parks again, heatedly demanding the files. Parks refused. A week or so after Foster's death, the Parks home was broken into -- a sophisticated burglary in which phone lines and the alarm system were disabled. The files were stolen. Two months later, Parks was murdered...."

*****

Can someone please explain something to me? Can someone explain why no one is ever caught in any of these horrible crimes of violence and intimidation?

Arkansas isn't a Democratic state anymore, or even a state that's home to any Clintons (except maybe Roger). Willey's state is purple, but mostly red. And the federal government has been all Republican for years until very recently. If there's a horrible criminal conspiracy here, why the hell doesn't some law enforcement agency get to the bottom of it, or at least tie someone to something?

As a proud Democrat, I say this: I want you to find evidence of these crimes if they actually took place. I'd be delighted to have Barack Obama running in '08 rather than Hillary -- especially if she's a thug. Please, please -- arrest someone for a murder or a burglary. Indict someone. Identify a "person of interest." Do something.

But that never happens. And that just advances the myth of Pure Clinton Evil, which requires the Clintons to be not merely thugs but thugs who can't be stopped.

And that, I think, has the effect, for wingnut voters, of turning any race against a Clinton into an act fraught with great personal risk -- another way Republican voters declare Republican candidates to be tough despite the fact that the candidates never subject themselves to actual danger.