Tuesday, September 03, 2013

TOP NINE WAYS FOR OBAMA TO WIN REPUBLICAN SUPPORT ON THE SYRIAN RESOLUTION

* Agree to defund Obamacare.
* Vow to make no statements about Syria using a teleprompter.
* Promise that no Syria appropriations will go to ACORN.
* Abstain from golf for the duration of military operations.
* Release text of nonexistent Columbia University thesis.
* Instead of U.S. military, conduct entire operation using secret Obama "civilian national security force" and mythical massive Department of Homeland Security ammunition stockpile.
* Draft all New Black Panthers and Chicago "thugs."
* Name next newly commissioned aircraft carrier the Andrew Breitbart.
* No Syria czars.

7 comments:

Victor said...

LOL!

But you forgot the most obvious, Steve:

Either step down, and have Biden do so as well - or, they both promise to stop breathing.

Danp said...

End the military sequestration by taking money from Wall Street regulatory agencies.

Never Ben Better said...

Hahahahahahaha!

HA!

Is it okay if I quote this at other sites -- with attribution, of course?

peabody nobis said...

You forgot one: Promise to keep his damn(black) feet off the desk.

Phil Freeman said...

What, you're thinking the US Congress is going to vote AGAINST killing foreigners? HA! When was the last time THAT happened?

Steve M. said...

Is it okay if I quote this at other sites -- with attribution, of course?

Sure.

Examinator said...

Gentlemens... and Victor

While it's true that citing either 'the bible' and 'Nosty' as anything but extreme examples of their time and context is ludicrous Not so the reality of POTENTIAL DISASTER from that area of the globe.
End of the world, hoards of Angels and trumpets? Herb Albert/ James Last's 'Trumpets a go go' revival in drag and on steroids? Meh!

POTENTIAL end of the civilised (?) world as we know it? Not QUITE so absurd. I doubt that it will come to Russian Nukes V U.S. nukes their same sense of M.A.D. induced caution doesn't extend to the hysterical zealotry of the Western Right wing and the Cornucopia of groups in the middle east not excluding Israel.

If one really considers the ROOT cause (above that of human instincts [emotions] a.k.a. human nature),
it all comes down to two basic factors those who think their way is an expression of the 'divine' (?) and there by chosen people and thereby a sense of exaggerated entitlement and thereby justifies their interests at the cost of the others.
Sadly both the extreme-ish Muslims, Christians (including the whites) are all equally (albeit in slightly different ways) are culpable. One might note that ANY group who *feels * they are entitle to Impose their interests over other are in fact simply asserting one prejudice over another and the end result is disharmony and suffering by the least able to cope...a.k.a. Law of the Jungle (not civilization)

At the higher level the US with its unconditional support for Israel and assumed supremacy merely feed the dis-equity of the others in the middle eastern peoples (NB not all Middle east protagonists are Arabs(ic) )...e.g. Iranians are in fact PERSIAN. Lumping them with Arabs is a bit like calling Americans … Russian because most are Christians!
Try telling a native American he's an orthodox (Russian) or a born again (an American invention) Christian and ….run...very fast!

It is a biological and sociological fact that extreme differences (read dis-equity) causes disharmony. In simple terms we as humans can be happy/content with less providing the differences between the extremes isn't well, too extreme like the U.S today. Notions of equality are as fanciful (impossible) as the rich/businesses are best to rule. In the context of the founding father's times rich meant educated as in informed skilled in logic and analysis. That, simply isn't true today. See the owner of “God Father Pizzas”

I guess the point I would make is that I have some issues with simply replacing the GOP's cultured prejudices with ridicule for ridicule sake (a.k.a. Democrat prejudice).