EEEK! IT'S NOT A MAN!

Yup, and it wears pantsuits, and it's running for president -- and that's really, really scary.

But don't worry -- if you have $19.95 burning a hole in your pocket, you can buy a tiny piece of overpriced crap that will let you confront your fear with a nervous laugh.

Just go to this Web site and, at the end of the animated intro, your most primal fear will be realized:



Yup, it's the Hillary Nutcracker.



IT'S EASY TO USE:
Step 1: Put nut between
stainless steel thighs!
Step 2: Squeeze!

Message: Women are scary! Women whose thighs are somewhat heavier than supermodels' thighs are scary! Women who aren't young but also aren't harmlessly grandmother-like are scary! Women who actually get angry when they're cheated on are scary!

By the way, I doubt you'd get nearly the amused fear-frisson if you sold something that actually invoked an understandable fear -- something like, say, a Rudolph Giuliani broomstick.

(Via the Politico.)