Monday, December 24, 2018

The 12 days of Christmas — an updated carol for the Trump era

On the first day of Trump-mas
The Trumpster gave to me
A tape of him taking a pee.

On the second day of Trump-mas
The Trumpster gave to me
Two Mnuchins munching
And a tape of him taking a pee.

On the third day of  Trump-mas
The Trumpster gave to me
Three stock markets crashing
Two Mnuchins munching
And a tape of him taking a pee.

On the fourth day of  Trump-mas
The Trumpster gave to me
Four Flynns pleading guilty
Three stock markets crashing
Two Mnuchins munching
And a tape of him taking a pee.

On the fifth day of Trump-mas
The Trumpster gave to me
Fox and Friends
Four guilty Flynns 
Three markets crashed 
Two Mnuchins
And a tape of him taking a pee

On the sixth day of  Trump-mas
The Trumpster gave to me
Six Sarahs lying 
Fox and friends
Four guilty Flynns 
Three markets crashed
Two Mnuchins
And a tape of him taking a pee

On the seventh day of Trump-mas
The Trumpster gave to me
Seven Cohens a-ratting
Six Sarahs lying 
Fox and friends
Four guilty Flynns 
Three markets crashed
Two Mnuchins
And a tape of him taking a pee

On the eighth day of Trump-mas
The Trumpster gave to me
Eight Bannons barking
Seven Cohens a-ratting
Six Sarahs lying 
Fox and friends
Four guilty Flynns 
Three markets crashed
Two Mnuchins
And a tape of him taking a pee

On the ninth day of Trump-Mas
The Trumpster gave to me
Nine Reinces retching
Eight Bannons barking
Seven Cohens a-ratting
Six Sarahs lying 
Fox and friends
Four guilty Flynns 
Three markets crashed
Two Mnuchins
And a tape of him taking a pee

On the tenth day of Trump-Mas
The Trumpster gave to me
Ten Sessions snarling
Nine Reinces Retching
Eight Bannons barking
Seven Cohens a-ratting
Six Sarahs lying 
Fox and friends
Four guilty Flynns 
Three markets crashed
Two Mnuchins
And a tape of him taking a pee

On the eleventh day of Trump-Mas
The Trumpster gave to me
Eleven Kellys quitting
Ten Sessions snarling
Nine Reinces Retching
Eight Bannons barking
Seven Cohens a-ratting
Six Sarahs lying 
Fox and friends
Four guilty Flynns 
Three markets crashed
Two Mnuchins
And a tape of him taking a pee

On the twelfth day of Trump-Mas
The Trumpster gave to me
12 Mad Dogs resigning
Eleven Kellys quitting
Ten Sessions snarling
Nine Reinces Retching
Eight Bannons barking
Seven Cohens a-ratting
Six Sarahs lying 
Fox and friends
Four guilty Flynns 
Three markets crashed
Two Mnuchins
And a tape of him taking a pee.


Moral: There aren’t enough days of Christmas — or of the year for that matter — to list all of the disasters that Donald Trump has created. So Merry Christmas. With Trump’s finger on the button — and the vastly increased lack of adult supervision — it could quite possibly be your last.


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