Wednesday, January 13, 2016


Issues? What issues? Check out the ad Duck Dynasty's Phil Robertson has cut with Ted Cruz -- and while you're watching it, pay attention to the use of the slippery word "us."
"My qualifications for president of the United States are rather narrow," Robertson says in the video. "Is he or she godly, does he or she love us, can he or she do the job, and finally would they kill a duck and put him in a pot and make him a good duck gumbo? I've looked at the candidates; Ted Cruz is my man. He fits the bill. He's godly, he loves us, he's the man for the job, and he will go duck hunting -- because today we're going."

At the end of the video, Robertson turns to Cruz and says: "You're one of us, my man. That's why we're voting for you."

Just who is "us" in this context? On the surface, it seems as if the "us" in "You're one of us, my man" is the Robertson family -- Cruz will smear his face and go duck hunting, so he's an honorary family member.

But think: Why did the Robertsons become TV stars? They became stars in part because we live in a country where people who smear their faces and go duck hunting feel that people who don't do those things (a) have all the power (the filthy liberal slicksters) and (b) hold hunters and their ilk in contempt. The Robertsons aren't filthy liberal slicksters -- if you hunt, they're relatable (though if you hunt, "relatable" is a word you'd probably never use).

And Phil in particular is relatable because he defiantly asserts that America is, or used to be and should again be, a Christian nation. His first criterion for a president, he tells us in the ad, is "Is he or she godly?"

So now let's go back to that word "us." I don't think the message here is just that Cruz is an honorary Robertson. I think "us" is the Real Americans, as defined by Robertson and his fans -- people who hunt and get dirty and believe America is Christ's terrestrial home. And when Roberson says of a hypothetical candidate, "does he or she love us," I don't think he simply means "does the candidate love America?" or "does the candidate love the Robertson family?" I think he means "does the candidate love Real Americans, and no other Americans?," following that definition.

I know there are other meanings here -- no, Cruz isn't a Canadian (though I'm pretty sure they hunt in Canada), and no, Cruz isn't a New York slickster like Donald Trump, or even a Miami slickster like Jeb Bush or Marco Rubio. But I also think the "us" is Real Americans as the right has always defined them. Chances are you're not one of them.


Professor Chaos said...

one of "us?" If he didnt need red neck votes, this Princeton/Harvard millionaire law partner wouldn't be caught dead messing up his manicure with common swampbillies.

Victor said...


With this foul fowl-killer's and his not-at-all ducky families endorsement - essentially saying, 'Cruz's a Bubba, jess lahk us!' - Cruz can now count on the votes of guys who sit around in duck blinds all day, trying to figure out ways to fool ducks enough so that they come close enough for them to take a good shot at the birds!

But, who knows, maybe Terrible Teddy Cruz-ader had duck-hunting with a family which made a fortune out of doing just that, on his bucket-list?
I can't imagine that that's common list item amongst Canadian-born, Ivy League educated attorney's, who are now US politicians.
There must be at least, oh... oh, about one of them.

Something tells me that after this little duck hunting adventure, Terrible Teddy Cruz-ader will check into a spa incognito, and spend a couple of days getting the 'full-treatment!'

And the base will eat this up. After all, this won't be some Libtard like John Kerry dressed-up in camo out in the woods, hauling a shotgun.

Just don't let anyone snap or film pictures of you out there, Teddy boy. The last time you were on camera with a shotgun, people who know a thing or two about shotguns were very critical of the way you handled the one you had - it looked like you rarely or ever held one in your hands, unless it was for photo-shoots to impress the rubes!

Oh, FSM, if I had led a better, cleaner life, maybe you'd have granted me this wish:
To have the Cruz-ader shoot Papa Duck's dick off!

Brett D. Wilson said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Feud Turgidson said...

I wonder about what a Republican candidate this early on in the GOP Presidential Nomination contest has to do, what commitments have to be made by him or on his behalf, what price has to be paid, not just to secure the endorsement of the Supreme Dick Duck Dynastor -- especially one with several actually real problems with the Republican Base, including a chronic uncertainty about his eligibility to be sworn as POTUS and a proven history of having somehow 'neglected' to make a truthful filing with the FEC on his having secured a couple of big loans from big banks, one of which employs his wife as a senior officer, allowing him to run for the Senate on a completely bullshit story about he and his sweety pie selling or hocking everything they had to fund his campaign (when in fact his wife specifically raised that they really needn't do that and it was she who arranged for the loans he 'neglected' to declare) to better enable him to get away with his total bullshit 'attack' on Wall Street banksters & how they've corrupted Washington D.C.

As a related matter, I wonder, when this endorsement was negotiated, whether Cruz provided the dickiest of the Duck Dyanastors with full disclosure about that latter problem in particular, and how much of that was factored into the price?

Glennis said...

You sure that's not a Canada goose?