Thursday, January 03, 2013


The video below isn't anything special -- it's pretty much what happens every time right-wingers attempt comedy -- but it's been given its own thread at Fox Nation, and it's currently on the site's front page, which means that someone in Ailesville either thinks the video is brilliant or thinks the rubes will think it is. The video comes from Clash Daily, the site of right-wing preacher and self-promoter Doug Giles.

If you can't watch the video, here's what the overacting, iPad-wielding "hippie chick" says (do "hippie chicks" use iPads?):
The state is my shepherd. I shall not want. It makes me lie down in federally owned pastures. It leads me beside quiet waters in banned fishing areas. It restores my soul through its control. It guides me in the path of dependency for its namesake. Even though our nation plunges into the valley of the shadow of debt, I will fear no evil, for Barack will be with me. The Affordable Care Act and food stamps, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me with Michelle Obama-approved foods in the presence of my libertarian and conservative enemies. You anoint my head with hemp oil. My government-regulated 16-ounce cup overflows. Surely mediocrity and an entitlement mentality will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in a low-rent HUD home forever and ever. Amen.... Daddy? Where is everybody?
So, um, I guess our kids are hippies, but totally in sync with billionaire Mike Bloomberg and his disdain for large sugary sodas, and totally focused on their own "dependency," because, y'know, the whole point of taking advantage of government benefits is to need them forever and wallow in your use of them forever (which, I guess, is why so many actual hippies back in the day went completely off the grid and became obsessed with back-to-the-land self-sufficiency).

I'm overanalyzing this, of course. This is right-wing humor. Right-wingers can't bear to tell one joke without telling all of their stock jokes. I'm surprised there's nothing in the video about Obama and a Teleprompter.

The video ends with an ad for a Doug Giles book entitled Raising Boys Feminists Will Hate. A sidebar at Clash Daily has this ad copy for the book:
Parent, if you have a young son and you want him to grow up to be a man, then you need to keep him away from pop culture, public school and a lot of Nancy Boy churches. If metrosexual pop culture, feminized public schools and the effeminate branches of evanjellycalism lay their sissy hands on him, you can kiss his masculinity good-bye because they will morph him into a dandy.
So says a man whose daughter Hannah gained fame as the video ally of the flower of right-wing manhood, convicted criminal, fake pimp and would-be boat rapist James O'Keefe.


That's not the lead item at Fox Nation right now. The lead item is an open letter to Senator Dianne Feinstein that, I gather, is going viral among the wingers and gunners. The letter is described as "written by U.S. Marine Joshua Boston" -- actually, he says he left the Marines last year -- that's headlined "No ma'am." No ma'am! Oooh, are you intimidated? The meaning of the faux-politeness is obviously I was a Marine and you pasty liberals reading this probably couldn't even pass the physical, could you, maggots? The letter (sourced to Free Republic, but originally posted at CNN's iReport) begins:
Senator Dianne Feinstein,

I will not register my weapons should this bill be passed, as I do not believe it is the government's right to know what I own. Nor do I think it prudent to tell you what I own so that it may be taken from me by a group of people who enjoy armed protection yet decry me having the same a crime. You ma'am have overstepped a line that is not your domain. I am a Marine Corps Veteran of 8 years, and I will not have some woman who proclaims the evil of an inanimate object, yet carries one, tell me I may not have one.
First of all, dude: You say you "do not believe it is the government's right to know what I own." Well, do you own a house? Do you own a car? Do you write huffy, self-righteous open letters to politicians complaining about the fact that the government expects to be informed about your purchase and use of those items (which actually gives the government far more ability to keep tabs on you)?

And beyond that: You want to be free of government control, but don't you say you just spent eight years doing a job in which the government controlled your every move? You worked for the biggest part of Big Government there is: the U.S. military. You don't see a contradiction there?

That's a rhetorical question, obviously. The Atlantic's Conor Friedersdorf may find it puzzling that Second Amendment obsessives have no problem with the existence of a standing army, or with warrantless surveillance and other aspects of the national security state, but I find it unsurprising. The gunners think the military is "us." It's the rest of the government, with the possible exception of Medicare and Social Security and farm subsidies, that's the equivalent of the hippie chick under the tree in that video. And don't ask why. It doesn't have to make logical sense.


Glennis said...

I am sure that Joshua Bolton is not planning to forgo his VA benefits, nor his pension.

The tone of his letter is like one of a fourteen year old writing in his journal after having been grounded.

Victor said...

Today's Conservatives are long past the Cognitive Dissonance we used to mock them for.

It's far, far, worse now.

I'm shocked that their heads don't explode, and go up in mushroom clouds, after the matter and the anti-matter collide up there.

Ten Bears said...

Marines ain't so tough, it's a stereotype.

aimai said...

This sterotype is so old that even the "fragrant hippie chick pie wagons" have whiskers. The problem these jerks are having is that the great big bogeyman, communism, to which they all refer is so long dead that no one under 50 remembers it. Like their pop cultural references in general they hang their tag lines and their quips on movies no one has seen, songs no one sings, jokes no one gets, political references no one cares about.


trnc said...

This type of exchange with my RW friends usually makes the topic turn to sports pretty suddenly.

Me - "Are there any departments you think run pretty well?"

"Sure, Defense"

"You mean the single payer dept, the most highly regulated dept by far - that Defense"

" ... Wellllll"

BH said...

I read Friedersdorf's piece and found myself laughing. He seemed to think that a lack of logic in the lumpenright was an actual weakness for them, and/or that the discovery and exposition of that lack was somehow noteworthy. Where has Friedersdorf been?

As for Leatherneck Bolton, well, he's just a case in point. My guess is that some of his disgruntlement stems from his recent re-exposure to the real world, after 8 years of minimal mental demands. Must be tough.