THEY DIDN'T REMOVE THE BROWN M&M'S FROM OUR FIELD OF CANDIDATES!

I'm really, really sick of right-wingers these days -- yes, even more than usual. They utterly dominate U.S. politics, they're on the verge of a complete takeover a mere four years after destroying everything they touched the last time they had power, their candidates are actually making believable promises to pursue an ideological agenda (which has an excellent chance of actually being implemented) -- and yet right-wing pundits are still whining about how they're not getting what they want:

It's a tough time to be a conservative intellectual.

From the Weekly Standard to the Wall Street Journal, on the pages of policy periodicals and opinion sections, the egghead right's longing for a presidential candidate of ideas -- first Mitch Daniels, then Paul Ryan -- has been endless, intense, and unrequited.

Profoundly dissatisfied with the current field, that dull ache may only grow more acute after Ryan's decision Monday to take himself out of the running.

The problem, in shorthand: To many conservative elites, Rick Perry is a dope, Michele Bachmann is a joke, and Mitt Romney is a fraud....

From the Journal's Midtown Manhattan conference room to the fluorescent corridors of Washington's think tanks, there is a collective sense of, is this the best we can do? ....

Jesus freaking Christ. Even in the heady days of 2008, we on the left couldn't find a candidate capable of winning the nomination who believed in, say, single-payer health care or genuine accountability for Bush administration torture policies. Even in 2006, we had to hold our nose and vote for dozens of DINOs to cobble together Democratic majorities in the House and Senate. Our last two presidents started tacking rightward within months of taking office, and every year, many of our most powerful congressional figures reject traditional Democratic ideas twelve months out of the year.

By contrast, the GOP in 2013, in all likelihood, will have a fervid movement-conservative Congress and either a movement-conservative president or a president who's so desperate not to be exposed as a heretic that he may be more subservient to congressional purists than actual purists would be. And still that's not good enough for the whiners!

I read this and I feel as if I'm reading one of those diva-celebrity backstage riders, the ones that promise a hissyfit if the brown M&M's aren't removed or the bottles of Cristal don't come with the requisite number of bendy straws.