Thursday, May 14, 2009


The former Newsday columnist, who now writes for The American Conservative and comments on Fox News, apparently dabbles in street hallucinogens on the side. Here's the thesis of his latest essay for Fox: God fervently wants us to develop Star Trek technology ... so we can save Israel.

No, I'm not kidding:

What If 'Star Trek' Is a Gift from God?

What if "Star Trek" is a gift from God? We know that "Star Trek," the number one movie in the country right now, is a gift to Paramount Studios, but seriously, what if "Star Trek" is a gift from God?

If all knowledge comes from God, as we are told in Romans 11:33, then that's where all creativity comes from, too. And also science and technological knowhow.

... The new "Star Trek" film shows Captain Kirk's Starship Enterprise making good use of photon torpedoes and force fields. So the question comes to mind: Would Israel be safer if it could shoot down enemy missiles and rockets with such photon torpedoes, or block them altogether with a force field? Of course it would.

... what could a mile-high fence do to safeguard Israel against Qassam rockets fired by terrorists from the Gaza Strip? What could a 20-mile-high fence do to secure Israel against Katyusha rockets from Lebanon? And what could a 200-mile fence do to protect Israel against Shahab missiles from Iran? Such a tall fence wouldn’t have to be physical; it could be virtual, as in a force field.

So back to "Star Trek," and any number of science fiction sagas. Why don’t we have force field technology? ...

This goes on for another 1,919 words. It makes Peggy Noonan sound like Richard Dawkins:

...maybe technology is a miracle we've been longing for, and yet we don't fully recognize it for the blessing that it is, because it has come disguised. Maybe we have been entertaining angels, as in Hebrews 13:2, and yet not seen them for what they were....

And not just for the safety of Israel. Why doesn't the U.S. have such safekeeping, peacekeeping technology? Maybe the answer is that our leaders have not had enough faith. That's right, not enough faith. They didn't see that the futuristic techno-wonders depicted in sci-fi were signs. They didn't see that these wonders were advance indicators of miracles that could be....

... unfortunately, today, some key programs, such as the Airborne Laser (sounds like a proto-photon torpedo to me, which is to say, worth pursuing with warp speed) and the Multiple Kill Vehicle, are being reduced or even eliminated....

The signs are everywhere, folks. And I believe that "Star Trek," and similar shows, are some of these signs....

I'm speechless. Snark fails me. Howard Beale rises from the dead and goes Christian-Zionist, right-wing, and tabloid simultaneously. Bizarre.

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