Last week the FBI warned right-thinking Americans to be on the lookout for evildoers thumbing through almanacs. John Rosenthal, editor of The New York Times Almanac, snarks back in The New York Observer:

...It’s about time the feds realized how much subversive information is contained in almanacs....

For example, the calendars section features a chart of major Muslim holy days, so militant Islamists will know when to take a day off from suicide bombings. The section on the U.S. Postal Service lists domestic and international postage rates, so terrorists will know exactly how many stamps to put on an envelope full of anthrax. The media section lists the top-rated television shows, so terrorists will know exactly when most Americans will be too distracted to notice their neighbors planning a jihad. Ditto for the table of lunar and solar eclipses in 2004.

The physics section lists the year the first atomic bomb was invented, as well as a brief explanation of Einstein’s theory of relativity. Armed with that information, a terrorist would need only a rocket and thousands of pounds of uranium to create his own nuclear device....

Hey, I'm a geek -- I laughed. Go read the whole thing if you're inclined.

(Link via Publishers Lunch.)