THIS IS MY FINAL FIT, MY FINAL BELLYACHE

Wow, that little mutiny didn't last long:

...Speaking to reporters at a breakfast sponsored by The Christian Science Monitor in advance of next week’s Values Voter Summit, [evangelical leaders Gary] Bauer and [Tony] Perkins backed away from earlier threats that Christian conservatives would consider a third-party bid if a pro-abortion rights candidate wins the GOP nomination. They both agreed that supporting such a bid next year would virtually "guarantee" Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton’s (D-N.Y.) victory....

"Everybody realizes that a third-party candidate would not work in this election," Bauer said.

So they're back in the fold. Add them to Rudy's great pal Pat Robertson and this rebellion is looking awfully toothless.

Maybe Bauer and Perkins figured out that no one who wants to stay in the GOP's good graces would run as their candidate, which would leave them with some flake like Alan Keyes. (By the way, if you think the hard right might abandon Rudy en masse for Keyes, go read this evisceration of him from Front Page Magazine.)

Bauer and Perkins are still wary of Giuliani, but they actually can imagine Rudy becoming one of them:

Perkins said Giuliani would need to experience a "road-to-Des Moines conversion" ...

When asked what Giuliani would have to do to allay their fears, Perkins and Bauer said a legitimate conversion on the abortion issue or some sort of behind-closed-doors pledge to be strong on their issues would be required.

Hunh? Surely they wouldn't fall for Rudy declaring he's anti-abortion now. Surely they'd be extremely skeptical about such a conversion if it took place just as states are choosing their delegates....

Er, apparently not, judging from this:

Perkins and Bauer said they are both convinced that [Mitt] Romney's evolution on the abortion issue is a legitimate conversion, "even if the movement tends to coincide with a primary schedule," as Bauer said.

"I don't think he's flip-flopping," Perkins said.

Yup, you read that right. They think Romney is sincere.

Hey guys, wanna buy a bridge?

(Cross-posted at If I Ran the Zoo.)