SEPARATED AT BIRTH

Hmmm -- there's something about Rudy Giuliani's debating style that seem awfully familiar to me, but I can't put my finger on exactly what it is....

MS. BARTIROMO: Mayor Giuliani, is London going to replace New York as the financial capital of the world?
MR. GIULIANI: Pardon me?
MS. BARTIROMO: Is London going to replace New York as the financial capital of the world, and if so, what are you going to do to change that?
MR. GIULIANI: (Laughs.) No how, no way. It's not going to happen. It's not going to happen. (Applause.)
MS. BARTIROMO: Well, we're seeing an increased number --
MR. GIULIANI: Come on.
MS. BARTIROMO: We're seeing increased amounts of business go to London. (Cross talk, Laughter.)
MR. GIULIANI: Let's stop all this stuff with our head down. London going to replace New York? Give me a break. Of course, London's not going to replace New York.
MS. BARTIROMO: Well, the number of IPOs is higher in London in '07 than in New York.
MR. GIULIANI: Or is the U.K. going to replace the United States of America? This is the strongest economy on earth. It's the last best hope of humanity. We have been like that. If this generation can't keep it that way, shame on us. This country is the leader in the world....

Why do I feel I've heard this line of reasoning? Who does Giuliani remind me of?

Oh, yeah, now I remember -- he reminds me of The Onion's Counterpoint Guy!

"This war will not put an end to anti-Americanism; it will fan the flames of hatred even higher"?

It won't.

"It will harden the resolve of Arab states to drive out all Western (i.e. U.S.) influence"?

Not really.

"A war against Iraq is not only morally wrong, it will be an unmitigated disaster"?

Sorry, no, I disagree.

"To take over a country and impose one's own system of government without regard for the people of that country is the very antithesis of democracy"?

You are completely wrong.

Trust me, it's all going to work out perfect. Nothing bad is going to happen. It's all under control.

Why do you keep saying these things? I can tell when there's trouble looming, and I really don't sense that right now. We're in control of this situation, and we know what we're doing. So stop being so pessimistic.

Look, you've been proven wrong, so stop talking. You've had your say already. Be quiet, okay? Everything's fine.

Right! The resemblance is uncanny!