So I see that after daring to express skepticism about the Iraq War and Bill O'Reilly's claims of a "war on Christmas," David Letterman is being lectured -- by Pat Boone:

...But host Dave's mistreatment of guest Bill still provokes me, especially in view of his audience's warmth to Dave's echoing question "Why are we in Iraq anyway?" It's become an acceptable social choice by now to forget the answer to that question. It's sad there's any need, but it seems there can't be too much reminding.

Okay: 9-11. Airliners taken over by terrorists who destroy them and hundreds of innocent passengers. World Trade Center destroyed. Over 3,000 Americans killed. Evidence being reported of many plots to do more of the same....

I see a picture of a neighborhood, on a nice cul de sac, happy and contented. One day a nest of rattlesnakes is discovered in one neighbor's backyard. Several neighbors insist on going in together and wiping out the nest, before the snakes inevitably slither into the other yards. In this instance, which is most important? Is it privacy or wiping out the snakes, before every home is afflicted and people unnecessarily die?

Why are we in Iraq, Dave?

BECAUSE WE'RE AMERICANS – AND AMERICANS KILL SNAKES BEFORE THEY KILL US!

You're a daddy now, Dave, with a backyard. Think about it.

Mr. Pat Boone, ladies and gentlemen. Mr. Pat Boone of Beverly Hills, California.

You know, we don't have rattlesnakes here in the East, Mr. Boone. We did, however, have a nasty terrorist attack back here. I know where David Letterman was in September 2001 -- right back at work in Manhattan, less than a week after the attack.

Where were you, Mr. Beverly Hills?