Monday, October 21, 2002

The key riff in Maureen Dowd's latest column went way over a lot of people's heads, including mine, but once you know what she's talking about, it's perfectly comprehensible.

Here's the setup, in which Richard Perle addresses "Boy Emperor" Bush:

"I am the chairman of your Defense Policy Board," an amused Richard Perle replied. "I am an adviser to Rumsfeld, a friend of Wolfowitz's and a thorn in Powell's medals. Je suis un gourmand, Monsieur le President. I have always dreamed of opening a chain of fast-food soufflé shops based on a machine that would automatically separate eggs, beat the yolks and combine them with hot milk and sugar, add the desired flavorings, whip the whites until stiff, fold them into the mixture and bake in individual pots without human intervention. Then conveyor belts would bring the glass-enclosed ovens to the table and patrons would get to see their meals rise. I've never found investors smart enough to realize the dazzling ingenuity of the Perle Soufflé Doctrine. Meanwhile, I'm killing time trying to get your foreign policy to rise. I'm known as the Prince of Darkness."

What this alludes to is an October 15 Los Angeles Times piece by Johanna Neuman entitled "Perle's Passion Is Served." In it, Neumann writes:

Beyond the policy debate, Perle is an original — a conservative agitator with a passion for the good life, a member of the Washington establishment who defies the town's workaholic habits, a weapon strategist who at the height of the Cold War fantasized about opening a souffle restaurant.

Neuman goes on to describe Perle's unsettlingly antiseptic culinary dream:

When Perle seeks brief refuge from the public policy battles, he can be found at home, in a kitchen any great chef would envy. Unlike the wars over arms control or Middle East policy, the gratification from a meal beautifully prepared is instantaneous. So attracted is Perle to the mechanics of cooking that he obsessed for years about opening a souffle restaurant in which a conveyor belt would bring a glass-enclosed oven to the table and patrons could watch their meals rise.

"I still think it's a good idea," he said, between bites of raw fish.


Snot that I am, I've already e-mailed this guy and this guy to explain.

(The L.A. Times piece, by the way, is here; use "clipjoint" at both prompts if, like many people, you have trouble persuading the Times server to let you read it.)

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