J.D. VANCE IS FETCH, AND OTHER DELUSIONS FROM THE RIGHT-WING ALTERNATE UNIVERSE

On social media over the weekend, I saw this headline:

This is from Evie Magazine, a right-wing women's magazine with links to Peter Thiel. The article is paywalled -- imagine actually paying for content like this -- but you can read it free here.

Vance is not a heartthrob, but Evie's Mia Miller really wants you to believe that other women think he is:

Enter JD Vance with his blue laser beams for eyes that sent women swooning across the internet....

After years of being told that “strong” men are toxic, that rizz comes from being weird and ironic, and that fashion-forward masculinity is defined by dressing and acting like women, seeing a guy who looks like he could fix your car and debate on stage with Ivy League confidence is a revelation.

There was only one candidate on that stage who looked like he could fix your car, and it wasn't the dead-eyed preppy cyborg concealing his anger management issues.

This story is part of a Republican propaganda wave that's trying to make fetch happen -- fetch, in this case, being the belief that Vance is a stud. These Republicans won't let reality get in their way:

Amazingly, a sitting Congressman - Georgia’s Mike Collins - has posted a doctored photo of JD Vance to make him look more attractive (pic 2 obvs.). 1/

[image or embed]

— James Withers (@jameswithers.bsky.social) October 2, 2024 at 12:09 PM

(The Collins tweet is here.)

They know that single women largely vote Democratic, especially single women who aren't racing to get married. (Kamala Harris knows it too, which is why she was trying to reach these women by going on the popular Call Her Daddy podcast, which I'll get to shortly.) Republicans think they'd do better electorally in a country with pre-sexual revolution romantic mores, so they're telling women that they crave marriage to a 1950s hunk in a gray flannel suit, whether they'll admit it to themselves or not. The hunkiest guy they've got is Vance, but they won't let that stop them:

The funniest thing about single, left wing women is that secretly they all want to marry someone like JD Vance: six feet tall, makes six figures, likes and wants kids, loves his wife, he’s their dream. And most can’t find it. So they pretend to hate him.

— Clay Travis (@ClayTravis) October 3, 2024

You might imagine that a political party would try to meet voters where they are and base its pitch on what those voters actually believe. That's not how the GOP works. The GOP wants voters to change. They should be what the party wants them to be. The party tells them not to believe what they actually believe.

The author of the Evie Magazine story also claims that Sydney Sweeney, by her very existence, is smashing politically correct taboos:

Thanks to the woke hellscape (that thankfully seems to be dissolving, little by little), men had been starved of seeing a classically beautiful woman who actually seemed to like men. She embodies the kind of natural, effortless, "normal" beauty that’s become a rare commodity in modern America.

In this passage, "normal" means "blonde," of course -- we can't have all these woke race traitors running around thinking Zendaya is hot! And it means big boobs, as a recent Newsweek article explained:

It all began with Sydney Sweeney's cleavage.

In March, the 27-year-old actress hosted Saturday Night Live for the first time, wearing low-cut outfits during the start and close of the show, which featured a number of jokes about her physical appearance, including a sketch where she played a Hooters waitress....

Following Sweeney's appearance on SNL, right-wing political commentator Richard Hanania shared a clip of the actress on the show in a low-cut dress, with the caption: "Wokeness is dead."

Yup:

Wokeness is dead. pic.twitter.com/ei53Worgjx

— Richard Hanania (@RichardHanania) March 3, 2024

An opinion piece in Canada's National Post asked, "Are Sydney Sweeney's breasts double-D harbingers of the death of woke?"

The author of that piece, Amy Hamm, wrote that Sweeney knows she's admired and owns "her sex appeal with zero apologies," arguing that "today's diversity, equity, and inclusion" advocates have discouraged admiration of beauty due to its exclusivity, implying that exclusion equates to hate.

"We aren't supposed to admire Sweeney's beauty; but we've done it anyways," she added.

Fight the power -- ogle Sydney Sweeney's boobs!

These folks are convinced that "woke" people think it's wrong for straight white men to find a blonde with big breasts physically attractive. They believe this because they assume "woke" people think the way they do. Right-wingers want everyone to believe what they believe and live the way they live. Right-wingers despise people who believe different things or want different things or live in a different way -- and they assume "woke" people feel the same way.

But that's not how it works. Trans pansexuals who like fat people of color don't care if you like conventionally hot blondes, as long as you don't encroach on their lives and don't demean their choices. Right-wingers don't understand that.

Right-wingers really do want everyone to live the way they do -- which gets us to Kamala Harris's appearance on the Call Her Daddy podcast. Remember this?

Last month, [Arkansas governor Sarah] Huckabee Sanders, who served in former President Donald Trump's administration, told attendees at a town hall: "My kids keep me humble. Unfortunately, Kamala Harris doesn’t have anything keeping her humble."

On the podcast, Harris addressed that:

"I don't think she understands that there are a whole lot of women out here who, one, are not aspiring to be humble," Harris, the Democratic presidential nominee, told "Call Her Daddy" podcast host Alex Cooper.

"Two," she added in the taped interview, which aired Sunday, there are "a whole lot of women out here who have a lot of love in their life, family in their life and children in their life, and I think it's really important for women to lift each other up."

“We have our family by blood and then we have our family by love. And I have both,” Harris, who is a stepmother to her husband Doug Emhoff’s two children, told Cooper, adding, “And I consider it to be a real blessing.”

This is where J.D. Vance's remarks about "childless cat ladies" come in. Vance is in a heterosexual marriage with children and believes that people who don't live the way he does are psychologically unhealthy and miserable -- and want to spread that misery to everyone else, as he told Tucker Carlson in 2021:

"These people recognize that they're unhappy. They live in one-bedroom apartments in New York City. They've played their entire lives to win a status game. They are obsessed with jobs. They are obsessed with their wealth and their fortunes and they look at middle America, people who are pretty happy with their lives and the choices they've made. And they hate normal Americans for choosing family over these ridiculous D.C. and New York status games."

"I think because of that they just get so angry when somebody calls it what it is," he said. "It's acceptable if they ignore that it never happens but if someone calls out that, look, if you are a miserable cat lady you should not force your misery on the rest of the country. They just get really upset about it."

But J.D., you're the one who wants to force your choices on everyone. We just want people to have the freedom to make choices other than the one you made. If you had any common decency, you and your allies would accept people's differences and stop trying to turn us into you -- whether it's by propaganda or by force.