IF WE WANT TO VACCINATE REPUBLICANS, MAYBE THIS WOULD WORK

Is it possible for our side to persuade right-wing resisters that they should get the coronavirus vaccine? Probably not -- but maybe this would work:

President Biden announces that because we appear to have vaccinated everyone in America who's willing to get the shot, in the next 72 hours he's recalling every dose of vaccine in America. They're all being redirected to other countries in order to fight the global COVID crisis. Specifically, the doses will go to:

* Latin America, with a special emphasis on distribution to Mexico, Cuba, and Venezuela
* sub-Saharan Africa
* the Palestinian territories

The president should announce that all doses of the vaccine made in America or scheduled to be delivered to America in the future will also be redirected to these locations. Starting three days hence, no coronavrus vaccine will be available to any American citizen.

Democratic politicians and important liberal figures should express support for the president's decision. They should say that Americans have had their chance to be vaccinated, and now it's the developing world's turn.

Many rank-and-file right-wingers will say, "Good -- let those filthy bastards die from the incredibly dangerous vaccines." Some Republican politicians will say this, too. But other Republican politcians -- particularly governors who know that vaccination is necessary -- will say, "How dare the president give away these vaccines! They're ours! He's giving them away to these countries because he hates America and loves our enemies and Third World nations! He wants them to thrive while America declines! We can't allow him to do this!"

Maybe some Republican states will sue. Maybe some will even send National Guard troops to prevent the jackbooted thug in the Oval Office from taking their jabs by force.

And maybe, just maybe, some True Patriot American right-wing heartlanders will decide that they're not going to let some swarthy foreigner from a shithole country take their vaccines -- they're going to get those shots before the foreigners can ... to own the libs.

Maybe a few will even run vaccine drives in non-white American neighborhoods, places where many people work multiple jobs and have transportation difficulties, and thus might not have been vaccinated despite their best intentions. Maybe they'll commandeer doses labeled for overseas shipments and distribute them in these neighborhoods just to prove that liberals are the real racists.

If all that happens? Mission accomplished.

The president should then go on national television and say that he's heard the voices of angry Americans, and he understands what they're saying. But he won't abandon the original plan -- he's just suspending it for a month. In a month's time, he'll revisit the plan, and it's quite possible he'll do what he proposed to do originally.

And maybe, just maybe, there'll be another uproar in a month -- and the president can postpone the redistribution again, because angry conservatives have defiantly seized the jabs and gotten themselves and others vaccinated in order to own the libs once again.

Repeat until herd immunity.

I don't know if it would work, but I can't imagine anything else that would.