WHAT RIGHT-WINGERS WOULD SAY IF THE PARTIES WERE REVERSED
(updated)

ABC News is reporting this:

Former President George W. Bush made his first candid public comments on the killing of Osama bin Laden during an appearance Wednesday at a conference of hedge fund managers in Las Vegas.

"I was eating souffle at Rise Restaurant with Laura and two buddies," Bush said when asked what he was doing when he received the call from President Obama, according to an ABC News contributor who attended the event.

"I excused myself and went home to take the call," Bush said. "Obama simply said 'Osama Bin Laden is dead.'"

Bush said Obama described in detail the secret mission to raid bin Laden's Pakistani compound and the decision he made to put the plan into motion. He told Obama, "Good call."

... appearing before the crowd of 1,800 at the glitzy Bellagio resort and casino, Bush appeared light-hearted and relaxed in talking about bin Laden's death.

When asked by forum moderator Melissa Lee of CNBC how he felt upon learning the news, Bush said he was "not overjoyed," explaining that the campaign to track down the 9/11 mastermind was done not "out of hatred but to exact judgment."

The development is ultimately a victory for the American people, he said.

"The guy is dead. That is good," Bush said of bin Laden. "Osama's death is a great victory in the war on terror. He was held up as a leader."

Now, I know it's hard to imagine this situation if the parties were reversed -- after all, if 9/11 had happened on a Democratic president's watch, that Democrat would quickly have been made a national pariah by a relentless GOP noise machine, and would have been driven from office in the next election, assuming an impeachment and Senate conviction hadn't already taken place. But let's put all that aside, and imagine that the Democrat served eight years, then retired, only to see a Republican get bin Laden. Imagine if this were the Democrat's first reaction.

Well, first of all, when he heard the news, the ex-president was eating souffle. Souffle! That's French! And the restaurant doesn't just serve the occasional French item -- its entire menu is French, and its name (rise Nº1) even includes the word "number" abbreviated the French way.

And the chef at that restaurant? His name is -- wait for it -- Cherif Brahmi. Cherif? Really? Sounds kinda ... Muslim, don't you think? (Actually, the chef isn't from the Middle East, but he was born in France, which is nearly as bad.)

Beyond that, of course, is the fact that the statement came so late -- nearly two weeks after the successful raid. And the ex-president is "not overjoyed"! Does he hate America?

And just where did the ex-president finally make a statement? At a conference for "global leaders, capital allocators and hedge fund managers" (was George Soros there?! no, but apparently David Axelrod, Jon Corzine, and Christopher Dodd were) at which this was a well-attended panel:

"The West is bankrupt and failing"!!!

Everything about this would be a sign that the ex-president was an America-haiting traitor -- if he were a Democrat.

****

UPDATE: Wait, it gets worse. About that souffle restaurant:

The "serviettes" or napkins are one-of-a-kind antique linen, made from pre-industry flax and hand-embroidered with family initials. All of the flatware is an eclectic mix of antique silver plate utensils from France. The upcycled couch in the library (a unique place to read and relax at rise n°1) was salvaged on a walk with her dog, Lucky, and reupholstered in 18th century French chanvre, or hemp.

Hemp!!!

And the rest of these frou-frou details? Way worse than spicy brown mustard.

Oh, and I wonder how quickly Drudge would give us a fake calorie count for the ex-president's souffle.