DAMMIT, KARL, WRITE SOME NEW MATERIAL

I know Renzi well enough to know that he can be a plainspoken fellow, and he said to me, I want you to know, you weren't my first choice for this breakfast. (Laughter.) I said, well, thanks for having me fly all the way out here, you know. (Laughter.) I said, who might that have been? He said, well, I really wanted Laura to come. (Laughter.) Another reason to put him back in Congress is because he's got good judgment.

--Remarks by President Bush at Rick Renzi for Congress Breakfast, October 4, 2006

Now, I wasn't Dean's first choice. (Laughter.) He wisely had put in a request for Laura -- (laughter)...

--Remarks by the President at Heller for Congress Reception, October 2, 2006

At a Friday fund-raiser for one embattled Republican lawmaker, freshman Rep. Geoff Davis of Kentucky, Mr. Bush even joked about his shrinking political range: Mr. Davis "really wanted Laura" to appear, Mr. Bush said, to laughter from a roomful of northern Kentucky donors. "He said, 'You stay at home, Mr. President. Yes, next time.' Unfortunately, she was tied up."

--Wall Street Journal, May 23, 2006

I appreciate President Wefald for having me come. I know Laura was his first choice. (Laughter.) That's why he's the head of such a fine institution; he's got good judgment. (Laughter.)

--President Discusses Global War on Terror at Kansas State University, January 23, 2006

Denny Hastert needs to remain the Speaker of the House of Representatives, for the good of the country. (Applause.)

I wasn't Denny's first choice to speak here, Laura was. (Laughter.)

--Transcript of Remarks by President Bush at the National Republican Congressional Committee Dinner, April 1, 2004

I wasn't Alex's first choice to speak tonight. His request was that Laura come to be the key speaker. Alex is a man of good judgment....

--Remarks by the President at Bush-Cheney 2004 Dinner, March 31, 2004

I'm sorry Laura is not here. I know she was Jeb's first choice to be the speaker today. [Laughter]

--Remarks at a Bush-Cheney Reception in Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, January 8, 2004

I wasn't Anne's first choice tonight. [Laughter] She wanted Laura. I saw on TV that Laura was campaigning with Elizabeth Dole. She got the long straw; you got the short straw.

--Remarks in Louisville, Kentucky, November 1, 2002