FREE TO CHOOSE
I'm not sure why a profile of dopey Saturday Night Live cast member turned dopey wingnut commentator Victoria Jackson is the cover story of this week's Village Voice -- the story is only intermittently interesting, in a Wes-Anderson-meet-Fox-News way (Jackson had Bible-thumping grandparents and tried to win SNL cast members over to Jesus, her father is a self-declared homophobe and ex-gymnast who's obsessed with fat people, her first husband was a fire-eater). But I very much enjoyed the lead paragraphs:
Victoria Jackson hurtles through intersections and down side streets while using her left hand to hold a Flip cam to her face. The inside of her car -- a weathered Honda Civic with "Nobama," Marco Rubio, and Tea Party bumper stickers -- smells like it has been fumigated with sweet incense. Steering with elbows and the occasional pinkie, she opens a Bible inscribed with her name and quotes Scripture in her inimitable high-pitched voice. Then she turns the camera on a reporter riding shotgun. She suspects he's a socialist. "Don't you think that some people are on welfare from cradle to grave," she demands, "because the government is encouraging them never to work?"
"Leaving on a Jet Plane," her ringtone, blares from some unknown recess of her purse, and she's suddenly burrowing through loads of makeup cases to find it. "What if we crashed and died on video?" she says, laughing wildly. "That would be the most viral video of the world! You'd be dead, but you'd have a really viral video!"
Can you believe all those nanny-state liberals want to crack down on "distracted driving"? What could those behavior Nazis possibly be thinking? Why on earth are they so afraid to trust the people with freedom?
I wouldn't mind if this dumbass fucking twit killed herself while driving like that.
ReplyDeleteBut, it's more likely that she'll kill another driver, a child, a pedestrian, or an animal instead.
And I never liked her on SNL.
I think she's funnier now, in a tragic sort of way, as a religious Conservative douchenozzle than she ever was on the show.
Oh, and "VV," NY is a city of 8 million stories, so you should have easily been able to find a better one.
Like maybe some poor woman trying to scrape by, with maybe some kids, or a sick husband or parents, instead of an unfunny lunatic supported by the most fringe elements of Wingnut Welfare.
Are you sure that was Victoria Jackson and not Toonces the cat?
ReplyDeleteRecently a bimbo in a beamer, cell phone stuck to he rear, blasted through a crosswalk I occupied. I kicked her door in, and walked away after telling her to explain to the cops why her door got kicked in in a crosswalk.
ReplyDeleteFortunately, she was a "she". Otherwise...
Don't have to be a Peace Freak, to be against War.
Two simple words tell you why that's the cover story this week: budget cuts. It's also the cover story in the Village Voice Media-owned Miami New Times. It makes a lot more sense there; Jackson lives in Florida. But the real story behind the story is that the Voice is apparently no longer the proud flagship paper of the VVM empire, if they're being told to recycle cover stories from elsewhere in the chain.
ReplyDeleteDanp wins.
ReplyDeleteAnd as I've said elsewhere, I've gained a lot more respect for her acting ability now that I know she was always playing characters much smarter than herself.