I asked this question yesterday at Balloon Juice:

I really don’t understand who “the democrats” are negotiating with over this new medicare trial balloon? I mean, Snowe, Collins, Lieberman, Landrieu, Nelson, and Lincoln—not to mention Conrad and Carper—have proven over and over and over again that they are either too stupid to understand what is in the legislation, or too corrupt and ill disposed to vote for a good bill. In a bargaining situation where both sides want a bill to pass you can have one side trade something for another—but in a bargaining situation where pivotal voters want nothing at all to pass exactly what are you going to trade them to get their vote? Lieberman and Nelson have done everything but drop their trousers and shit on Obama and the other dems at this point. And Collins and Snowe have done just about everything else to demonstrate that if the bill makes any difference at all to real people’s lives and hopes they will kill it. So to the extent that there’s lots of good stuff in the bill already can someone explain to me why the Democrats are acting like someone of this troglodyte trio is going to suddenly go “wow! this is a bill I can vote for!?”

Today, Jane answered this question correctly, in her own inimitable way:

To Answer The Question
By: Jane Hamsher Tuesday December 8, 2009 6:56 am

After 30 years in the movie business, I don’t dance around like somebody’s pet monkey and respond to offers nobody has made, and I don’t negotiate with myself.

And now we see Lucy and the Football, right on time. The Dems can subsitute any piece of good legislation they want for the Public Option--as long as its good, and Democrats want it, Snowe will oppose it. How hard is this?

My parable of the legislative process is offered below:

Democrats: Here’s a lovely cat! It takes care of itself, it will keep you company, and you don't even need to feed and water it.

Lieberman et al: Well, I think it won’t fit through the cat door, why don’t you cut off its tail?

Dems: OK!

Snowe: “Yeah, I’d like the cat, just cut off its left front leg!”
Dems: OK!

Carper: “I know, how about if you cut off both its ears. It won’t hear so good, but I like a cat with a trim appearance!”

Dems: OK!

Nelson: Hey, without one leg its lopsided. Cut off two more.
Dems—no way. Well, maybe just one more.

Dems: Now will you vote and take the cat?

Lieberman, Carper, Nelson, Snowe, et al “Hell no, this thing is dead.”

aimai