BARACK OBAMA: EVIL IN MANY WAYS, BUT APPARENTLY HE DOESN'T BEND TIME

Maybe this is old news to people who follow such matters more closely than I do (hello, Rumproasters), but I'm only now realizing the extent of the crimes Barack Obama is charged with by birthers such as the woman who calls herself Dr. Orly Taitz Esquire. From The Kansas City Star:

Taitz spoke to a crowd of about 40 ... , and in a little over an hour threw a kitchen sink's worth of accusations at the president.

To wit: Obama has failed to produce a true copy of his Hawaii birth certificate; the birth documentation he has produced may be a forgery; Obama may have forged his selective service documents; he may have as many as 25 social security numbers; one of those numbers may have originated in Connecticut and indicates he's over 100 years old; he may have enrolled at Occidental College as a foreign exchange student; he may be guilty of wire fraud, social security fraud, mail fraud and other unspecified fraudulent acts related to his presidential campaign and various charitable organizations; and he may have held closed-door meetings with the U.S. Supreme Court in which he intimidated them into rejecting any cases challenging his citizenship.

I don't even understand the life narrative she's suggesting here -- on the one hand he's presumably a Hitlerian jihadist megalomaniac, but what he used to be is some sort of Raymond Chandler petty grifter? Did he defraud elderly widows while learning global revolutionary strategy from Saul Alinsky?

A post on Taitz's blog (a reprint of a crank letter she sent to the U.S. attorney for western Washington State) clears up a bit of confusion I had:

Reports from Lexis Nexis and Choice Point of Barack Obama having around a 100 addresses all over the country with numerous social security numbers attached to those addresses, including from Washington State. That is of concern in light of the fact that Mr. Obama’s grand mother, Madelyn Dunham volunteered in Oahu circuit court probate department and had access to the Social Security numbers of the deceased persons. One of the social security numbers for Mr. Obama show him as 118 years old, which might mean that he used a social security number of a deceased person.

Oh, OK -- it's grifting with (grand)mommy issues. It's not Raymond Chandler, it's Jim Thompson.

I think the belief in this crap says more about the believer than it does about the subject of the conspiracy theory. But at least the imagined scenario is (barely) within the realm of possibility. When I first read that K.C. Star, in a half-asleep state late last night, I almost thought Taitz was portraying Obama as some sort of shape-shifter with multiple identities who could actually be (in some spirit realm or other) "over 100 years old." As I said last fall, that would explain a lot.