OH, HOW DROLL

Chuck Norris has a new World Net Daily column called "If I Am Elected President." No, he's not really serious about running, and the list of things he promises he'd do is pretty much wall-to-wall cornball (e.g., "Ask producer Mark Barnett to film 'Survivor - Camp David,' where world leaders will meet annually, for an all-out cage-fighting championship"), but one of the things he promises to do creeps me out just a bit:

Tattoo an American flag with the words, "In God we trust," on the forehead of every atheist.

Hmmm ... government-imposed tattoos. Where have I heard that one before?

Also,

Create new immigration legislation: to deport all liberals (then force them to listen to Bill O'Reilly every day for five years, at which point they may return).

Oh, OK -- it's not real eliminationism because he'll let us back into the country (though, for many of us, only after tattooing).

Ah, the earthy wit of the regular-guy party....

(By the way, Chuck says his choice for VP would be Tony Blair. And the presidential candidate he's seriously rooting for is Gingrich.)