A MOOK'S TEARS

Bernard Kerik is heartbroken, though I'm not sure why:

Disgraced ex-NYPD Commissioner Bernie Kerik can't stop crying over his fizzled friendship with former BFF Rudy Giuliani.

"I accept the distance created by Giuliani. I understand it, but inside, it's killing me," Kerik said.

"It's like dying a slow death, watching him have to answer for my mistakes," the former top cop said of the ex-New York mayor-turned-presidential-candidate....

Hunh? Rudy has to answer For Kerik's mistakes? Do you see anyone asking him to do that right now? For the most part, it looks as if everyone's decided to look the other way -- about this and everything else in his past. Yeah, I know Fred Thompson is coming on like gangbusters, but even in that new Rasmussen poll they're basically neck and neck, and Gallup still has Giuliani way out in front. If Giuliani had had the sense (and the shamelessness) to do complete 180's on abortion, gay rights and gun control, he'd be writing his nomination acceptance speech right now and Fred would still be on Law and Order.

More from Bernie:

"There are times I'm so f- - -ing depressed, I don't want to work. I don't want to get out of bed. You go to sleep, you wake up in a f- - -ing sweat."

Kerik copped last year to accepting $165,000 in free renovations on his Riverdale, Bronx, apartment by a mobbed-up contractor....

Of his guilty pleas involving the contractor, Kerik said, "I just f- - -ing wanted [the case] to be over.

"I didn't take the pleas because I really thought I hadn't done anything wrong," Kerik said. "It was just, pay the f- - -in' fine, give 'em their pound of flesh, whatever the f- - - they want. There's a point where you just lose the ability to fight."

I do like the way he retains his dignity, don't you?

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But there's one curious thing: Kerik, the seemingly less worldly one, says he's now working for the Jordanian government (on "an underground, seismic-shock proof, oxygen-stowing compound that could withstand a nuclear attack"). He also says that a year or so ago he was "asked by Syria to act as a go-between in seeking a peace-talk powwow with President Bush." We know he recently tried to line up jobs in Guyana and Trinidad. And we know he was (briefly) in Iraq. And he worked in Saudi Arabia years ago.

You know who's still never been to Iraq? His seemingly more worldly-wise pal Rudy. That's one of the things we learn in Newsday's article about Rudy's failure to show up for meetings of the 9/11 Commission (of which he was originally a member) because he was too busy making speeches for big bucks.

By quitting the panel, Giuliani also passed up a chance to fill another big gap in his commander-in-chief credentials -- Giuliani said recently he's never been to Iraq, unlike his top declared GOP rivals and several in the Democratic field. Baker and Democratic co-chairman, former Rep. Lee Hamilton, led a four-day Iraq trip last summer.

Giuliani has faced questions of why he hasn't been to Iraq despite being an enthusiastic supporter of the Iraq war. He has said a planned trip was scuttled for reasons he didn't specify but that he hopes to go by year's end.

Pentagon officials said they are not aware of a request by Giuliani to travel to Iraq and that it could be somewhat difficult to achieve at this late date.

But Rudy had to keep his priorities straight:

Giuliani left the Iraq Study Group last May after just two months, walking away from a chance to make up for his lack of foreign policy credentials on the top issue in the 2008 race, the Iraq war.

He cited "previous time commitments" in a letter explaining his decision to quit, and a look at his schedule suggests why -- the sessions at times conflicted with Giuliani's lucrative speaking tour that garnered him $11.4 million in 14 months.

Wants to be leader of the free world, but doesn't want to travel because it interferes with his lifestyle. Remind you of anyone?

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UPDATE: Josh Marshall says this after learning that Giuliani played hooking hooky from 9/11 Commission meetings:

That's the kind of story that ends a campaign, especially one like Rudy's based on standing up to terrorism and hanging tough in Iraq.

Oh, please -- that's really naive. Giuliani's fans don't care what he does -- they care how he acts. It doesn't matter if he knows how to deal with America's enemies -- all that matters is that he makes voters feel that he knows how to deal with those enemies. It's all about packaging and myth-making -- cf. Bush in a flight suit.